What does it mean ?

The days have found much to keep me busy but I cannot ignore the burning that flows along the marks of my hands and even the ones to my feet begin to feel as if I am walking in fire. I sat by the stream with my feet in the water, letting the cool liquid caress my skin, but it did not cool the sensation. What was causing it, I had to wonder, I do not recall ever feeling such before and my memory is pretty good.

I put the vest away that Yamka made me I would save it for a special purpose. My reasons for having them made have been fulfilled, to hear Cana say she felt beautiful was what it was for. I was content in that.
I had made an amulet for Yamka a gift for making tribe, over the seasons almost everyone that has made tribe I have made an amulet for, usually it has something personal on it about the person, it is their energy and their hearts that I put into it along with a little something from me,even other gifts I have made anyone from me personally have much put into them, they are not fancy gifts and they are always simple in nature, but what they hold is invaluable. I put on hers what I felt was important for her, to have something that would allow her to guide herself in life.

The dreams continue they become more intense and keep me awake most of the night, the images range in shape,color and scent, there is much that is revealed in these dreams yet they seem to be draped within a grotesque veil that does not allow me to see clear, just enough to allow certain images to burst thru in such vivid color and movement that it has knocked me down, the weight of them do not allow for me to get up, it is a sinking feeling that flows about me, but there is something there I have to know. Garyx has been in one, he calls to me, motions for me to join him, I take the steps to do so but I find myself stopping, what stops me, I should join him, he is calling to me, the black larl and white larl are to be reunited, but something feels wrong, he shows me something beyond his hand, I have to look closely to see what he is showing me. Is he calling me truly or is it some thing else he is showing me, the sacred place on the plains that every Haruspex knows of, but we only go during times of the greatest need. Why is he showing me this place. What does it mean, I have seen the ancient one that lives there only a few times in my life, she lives there almost like a recluse why I really do not know, she is blind. And there are those that stay with her. She scares the life out of me, as much as I learn from her and respect her, she just creeps me out.

"Remove that which clouds your vision." I heard him say, and without warning I felt a lance spear my heart and once more the same warrior that killed me in my other dream also was behind this attack, but was it really an attack, or was it something else, was he unknowingly the gatekeeper for my shadow walk, "go deeper" I heard him say. And I felt myself fall into that oblivion of the shadows, for it takes a lot to push a living being to that place.

What was there for me to see, and why was it him that was guiding me there. I 'll be damned I thought to myself as suddenly there was nothing. But I was not yet to see more for I woke up suddenly, startled and I could feel my heart thundering and racing. I knew it was time to get up but I really wanted to go to sleep,curl up in the warmth of my furs and sleep, my hand would reach out to touch the side that Garyx used to lay on for a moment I closed my eyes and pretended that he was holding me and letting me know that all was going to be alright, for a moment I felt a moment of peace and I caught his scent around me and a warmth settle around me, a few more moments of rest would not hurt anything. And for an ahn or two I felt as everything was as it should be, I felt the contentment and steady calmness that had hands ago begin to flow thru me. My thoughts began to congeal and come together in an understanding.