I thought that Hallie was going to be the only one of my children that would seek me out today, but it seems Arkus needed to see me and talk to me. My children rarely come to me with anything that is paltry or minor. They tend to work things out in their head on their own, the reasons for this I am not yet sure, father chuckles and points out in that straight forward way of his, that I did the same thing as a child, I would never run to him with silly things, I would take care of it myself and find the solution or end up with a few scrapes and bruises over it until I did get the answer I sought. Well, he has a point there, a woman raised by a man does not suffer the softer, selfish, poor me syndrome, nor does a woman raised by a man seek to have others fix every little problem in life for them. I was not spoiled in fact the opposite, he has hard on me and harsh with me at times, I got the same sort of treatment many of his men did, but then again, I got to do things many women did not, simply because who my father was and he was raising a girl,not a boy but he had a habit of forgetting that sometimes when it came to riding, hunting, making weapons, so many things I learned along side his men, in fact they all still think that I am this little girl that they need to watch over. Nothing worse than all of them thinking they are self appointed watch sleens.
He did remember it though when it came to the sacred things of men that women just did not do, you know like the scarring and other things men do, which I will never understand, and I am still traumatized from accidentally seeing a few things, and then there were the raids I always thought it was unfair I never got to go, I could do some of the things they did, but ohhh no, he wouldn't let me go , well there is one or two exceptions he did let me go on one, a small one, as a grown up I see he knew there was no danger there, but as a child I thought it was the greatest thing, I was going on a raid, the excitement of it was just everything to me, as I got all my weapons and my kaiila and other things, well, little did I know there was supposed to be more than I saw, there was not much fighting and well, damn now I am sort of disappointed in the fact it was a set up, but you have to give the man credit for thinking of something like that, which would bring me something more than I could have hoped for and yet kept me safe.
I admire my father not because of who he was to many people, not because of his conquests and the stories about him as a warrior and leader. I admire him as the man who raised his children alone, without a mate,and girls no less. And we did not turn out half bad, well we are all a bit unusual in some aspects.
So as I was thinking to this, here come Arkus, now he had this stride to him that clued me in that he felt he was the cock of the walk suddenly, which meant he just experienced something that just put him up in the clouds. I am sure I didn't want to know, a mother does not want to know certain things of their children. But that never stops mine, no they have to come and just share in their first experiences , thoughts and so many other things.
He stopped by me and he just smiled, I know he has been working hard with the scarring clan, he is a bit perturbed that his lessons have been interrupted and the reason, I assured him that things would once more return to a more calm path, the novelty of some things tends to make life at first ever changing rising and falling but eventually it calms and life flows once more, he just rolled his eyes. He was taking this time to help me with some of my wagons, he helped me brand all the bosk's I own including the one that my white one had fathered, I sometimes think to the night it had been born it was born at the same time the youngest son was born, I still recall Fonce speaking of it, it was a blessing in many ways, and that white male, he bears my brand as does the calf he gave to another female. I own more than a few, partially due to those that have been mated to me and also because of some good wagers I have made. He had also ensured that his fathers had been taken care of. But any way my mind wanders much this morning I do not seem to be focused, which is alright, sometimes it is good to let my mind wander.
"Mother," he would state, " I have found that you were right about things that can make a woman squirm and scream." Nothing like being right to the point, well, now I was not expecting that and I had to look at him strangely, I did not want to know details, no, no, no. A mother doesn't want to know these things, even if I did teach my children about sex and other things, that didn't mean I wanted to know when they had their first experience. Oh good skies, this is not a conversation I wanted to have. But I had no choice but to listen.
No wonder he was walking on air, what man would not be feeling as he was especially if he made a woman scream in pleasure, "Well, Arkus, that is a good thing." What in the name of the sky am I to say. I don't have a clue, this is a discussion he should have with a man, or more importantly with his father, but it wasn't his father who taught him these things. So I guess I can see why he has come to me, I am a mother and father all wrapped in one it would seem. He just grinned ear to ear. " I just have one question how to you teach them to do what you want, not that I have complaints, she enjoyed what I did, but well, I wanted more." Oh no, this is not a talk for mothers, no, it just can't be happening, I think if I had been younger and naive and not had to teach my other sons then I might just turn a dozen shades of red and curl under a rock somewhere.
I thought to this, "Well, you can begin by showing them what you like and how you like it, " I would suggest, "Just like a man, a woman has ideas of what you enjoy but if there is something in specific they wont know if you don't tell them and show them"
How else can you teach a man or woman what you like if you don't talk of it. He would nod in understanding. "Are there any limits?" Now this was a loaded question, "I suppose it depends on the woman or man involved." I would state, "Some have limits and some do not. Every woman has things they enjoy or don't some like a gentle hand some like a rougher hand and some want you to push them to their limits, I think that is something you explore with whoever you are with. Some are a combination of all things, but that type of woman is not easily found. Slaves really have no choice they must submit to what you want, but you can still learn what it is that will work best for you, to learn what makes their bodies sing or is painful or whatever it is you seek, they can learn what you enjoy and even learn what they enjoy."
I was not sure I was explaining this right, and I have a different outlook on this than many. But I think that is because of my own experiences. He would nod as he thought to this, "I understand thank you, I knew you would be able to help me." Then he hugged me and then off he went whistling as he nearly ran back to his wagon, I suspect someone was waiting there for him.
And I thought going thru this with Lochlan had been tough, I almost dread when the youngest son reaches that age. At least by then I will have some practice. It is days like this I realize how much of a hole Garyx has left in our lives, he had been a father to them in many ways, they could go to him and talk to him at any time, I don't know how many nights they would barge into our wagon just to sit with us and talk.
I miss that. But I am getting used to the silence once more. Soon each will begin lives of their own, when they do, then I will have served my purpose. It has come to rest in my heart and mind, my usefulness will soon draw to an end. I no longer have responsibilities that I once did, they have been given to others. Younger ones no less, it does suck to have youth capture everything that you have worked for and on, it also is kind of insulting of the skies to have men only look at youth, but yet, at the same time is that not the way of it, is it not the young that will keep us going, bring us children and continue on our ways, I have come to the realization it is a very sharp double edged sword. But, it is also the natural order of things.
The dreams have revealed much and I have sewn them together to find what it is I was to know. I have seen these things play out in life, and it makes sense. Life has taken much but it has given much,I have begun to put things aside that I wish specific people to have, I have spoken to Chulun on who it is I wish to continue my youngest son's teaching within the clan. Preparations have been made so that nothing is left unknown just in case, things do not go well.
I have had some special arrows made, and one I have taken the blue one to and secured it, it has someone's name upon it, I have delved down and began to bring the dark witch to the surface, for I will have need of that aspect of me. I know where the one I seek is, I know now his name. I will finish what he has started.
He wants blood for blood, now he will have it, only on my terms.
I have found his lair, I have seen without his knowledge, did he really think he was dealing with some one young,weak and without experience, I will use every spex power I possess and then some. Much of me is cloaked and unfelt because it is not my way to reveal just what lies beneath the surface, but I will unleash it, I will let it run free, I will show him a power that is so horrific and magnificent that he will regret the day he ever thought to touch not only those of this tribe, but those close to my heart.
Soon.
He did remember it though when it came to the sacred things of men that women just did not do, you know like the scarring and other things men do, which I will never understand, and I am still traumatized from accidentally seeing a few things, and then there were the raids I always thought it was unfair I never got to go, I could do some of the things they did, but ohhh no, he wouldn't let me go , well there is one or two exceptions he did let me go on one, a small one, as a grown up I see he knew there was no danger there, but as a child I thought it was the greatest thing, I was going on a raid, the excitement of it was just everything to me, as I got all my weapons and my kaiila and other things, well, little did I know there was supposed to be more than I saw, there was not much fighting and well, damn now I am sort of disappointed in the fact it was a set up, but you have to give the man credit for thinking of something like that, which would bring me something more than I could have hoped for and yet kept me safe.
I admire my father not because of who he was to many people, not because of his conquests and the stories about him as a warrior and leader. I admire him as the man who raised his children alone, without a mate,and girls no less. And we did not turn out half bad, well we are all a bit unusual in some aspects.
So as I was thinking to this, here come Arkus, now he had this stride to him that clued me in that he felt he was the cock of the walk suddenly, which meant he just experienced something that just put him up in the clouds. I am sure I didn't want to know, a mother does not want to know certain things of their children. But that never stops mine, no they have to come and just share in their first experiences , thoughts and so many other things.
He stopped by me and he just smiled, I know he has been working hard with the scarring clan, he is a bit perturbed that his lessons have been interrupted and the reason, I assured him that things would once more return to a more calm path, the novelty of some things tends to make life at first ever changing rising and falling but eventually it calms and life flows once more, he just rolled his eyes. He was taking this time to help me with some of my wagons, he helped me brand all the bosk's I own including the one that my white one had fathered, I sometimes think to the night it had been born it was born at the same time the youngest son was born, I still recall Fonce speaking of it, it was a blessing in many ways, and that white male, he bears my brand as does the calf he gave to another female. I own more than a few, partially due to those that have been mated to me and also because of some good wagers I have made. He had also ensured that his fathers had been taken care of. But any way my mind wanders much this morning I do not seem to be focused, which is alright, sometimes it is good to let my mind wander.
"Mother," he would state, " I have found that you were right about things that can make a woman squirm and scream." Nothing like being right to the point, well, now I was not expecting that and I had to look at him strangely, I did not want to know details, no, no, no. A mother doesn't want to know these things, even if I did teach my children about sex and other things, that didn't mean I wanted to know when they had their first experience. Oh good skies, this is not a conversation I wanted to have. But I had no choice but to listen.
No wonder he was walking on air, what man would not be feeling as he was especially if he made a woman scream in pleasure, "Well, Arkus, that is a good thing." What in the name of the sky am I to say. I don't have a clue, this is a discussion he should have with a man, or more importantly with his father, but it wasn't his father who taught him these things. So I guess I can see why he has come to me, I am a mother and father all wrapped in one it would seem. He just grinned ear to ear. " I just have one question how to you teach them to do what you want, not that I have complaints, she enjoyed what I did, but well, I wanted more." Oh no, this is not a talk for mothers, no, it just can't be happening, I think if I had been younger and naive and not had to teach my other sons then I might just turn a dozen shades of red and curl under a rock somewhere.
I thought to this, "Well, you can begin by showing them what you like and how you like it, " I would suggest, "Just like a man, a woman has ideas of what you enjoy but if there is something in specific they wont know if you don't tell them and show them"
How else can you teach a man or woman what you like if you don't talk of it. He would nod in understanding. "Are there any limits?" Now this was a loaded question, "I suppose it depends on the woman or man involved." I would state, "Some have limits and some do not. Every woman has things they enjoy or don't some like a gentle hand some like a rougher hand and some want you to push them to their limits, I think that is something you explore with whoever you are with. Some are a combination of all things, but that type of woman is not easily found. Slaves really have no choice they must submit to what you want, but you can still learn what it is that will work best for you, to learn what makes their bodies sing or is painful or whatever it is you seek, they can learn what you enjoy and even learn what they enjoy."
I was not sure I was explaining this right, and I have a different outlook on this than many. But I think that is because of my own experiences. He would nod as he thought to this, "I understand thank you, I knew you would be able to help me." Then he hugged me and then off he went whistling as he nearly ran back to his wagon, I suspect someone was waiting there for him.
And I thought going thru this with Lochlan had been tough, I almost dread when the youngest son reaches that age. At least by then I will have some practice. It is days like this I realize how much of a hole Garyx has left in our lives, he had been a father to them in many ways, they could go to him and talk to him at any time, I don't know how many nights they would barge into our wagon just to sit with us and talk.
I miss that. But I am getting used to the silence once more. Soon each will begin lives of their own, when they do, then I will have served my purpose. It has come to rest in my heart and mind, my usefulness will soon draw to an end. I no longer have responsibilities that I once did, they have been given to others. Younger ones no less, it does suck to have youth capture everything that you have worked for and on, it also is kind of insulting of the skies to have men only look at youth, but yet, at the same time is that not the way of it, is it not the young that will keep us going, bring us children and continue on our ways, I have come to the realization it is a very sharp double edged sword. But, it is also the natural order of things.
The dreams have revealed much and I have sewn them together to find what it is I was to know. I have seen these things play out in life, and it makes sense. Life has taken much but it has given much,I have begun to put things aside that I wish specific people to have, I have spoken to Chulun on who it is I wish to continue my youngest son's teaching within the clan. Preparations have been made so that nothing is left unknown just in case, things do not go well.
I have had some special arrows made, and one I have taken the blue one to and secured it, it has someone's name upon it, I have delved down and began to bring the dark witch to the surface, for I will have need of that aspect of me. I know where the one I seek is, I know now his name. I will finish what he has started.
He wants blood for blood, now he will have it, only on my terms.
I have found his lair, I have seen without his knowledge, did he really think he was dealing with some one young,weak and without experience, I will use every spex power I possess and then some. Much of me is cloaked and unfelt because it is not my way to reveal just what lies beneath the surface, but I will unleash it, I will let it run free, I will show him a power that is so horrific and magnificent that he will regret the day he ever thought to touch not only those of this tribe, but those close to my heart.
Soon.
