There are days I just have to be a real bitch. And today ended up being one of them.
I walked in on something at the fires and I am not sure what all happened, there seemed to be a mood hanging in the air. Seveya left with an air of frustration lingering about her, Ayguili tone alone made me know to not say or do anything, nope now was not a good time to talk to him. He was talking to Silk, all I caught was about a bota she had and what was in it, she told him what was in it, well I know this much I wont drink from her botas, that concoction alone was enough to turn even my stomach and I have eaten raw flesh and eyeballs and other things. She took an attitude with him but I just watched having a feeling that he had angered her before I got there. So I made my way to the cooking fires and prepared some blackwine,
I listened as they spoke and I caught his tone and his mood there was no humor in it and he was not happy, when Silk walked to the fires and sat he said he did not want any woman drinking at the fires or being drunk in their own wagons that was a different story, so I asked of Kalana he said it would be allowed in moderation. Which I understood now it has been since I can remember understood that women do not drink or get drunk in public. So I did not see the issue
He asked if anyone had anything to talk of now do you think I was going to be dumb enough to bring my thoughts and concerns to him when he was in that mood, oh no. No way, I want to keep my neck free of a collar and my head on my shoulders. I would wait until he was in a better mood.
After he left there was a discussion between Silk and Cana, I listened but the more I listened the more my head hurt, I added a few parts here and there but I don't think what we were trying to explain to her was getting thru, why I do not know, some things are the way of things and you can not change some things. what part of men being in charge was she not understanding, they were going in circles and it was just enough to drive you nuts. I was not sure what Silk was not understanding or why she seemed to think there was an issue in one breath she has and issue and in the next she was saying that she was concerned and wanted to reveal that. Okay now that just had me confused.
My head was really getting to hurt even more. Good skies.
We tried to explain things but she fights against it, I love Silk to death but she has forgotten her own words and actions even as much as recent. Now I was staying out of it until she went and told Cana that if she wanted to be mistreated as a woman that was fine, oh now hold on just a moment there. Now I was not getting to involved until that point and well that was it, now I was getting involved. You do not lash out at another because your leathers are in a twist over something someone else did and you don't want to really hear what is being said. And you don't ever lash out to cause hurt and bring tears to their eyes, Cana does not realize I saw that. But I did.
Cana was right in a few things, and the more this kept up the more ticked I was getting until finally that was it, she wasn't getting anything that was being said to her and I had enough, I even gave her warning, by tell her that was enough, but did it stop no not all .
I slapped Silk not as hard as I could have but still just enough. Now, I rarely loose my temper at the fires and I rarely let my irritation get the better of me. But damn it I had heard all I needed to. She will be pissed and that is fine, but she needs to recheck her memory and her thoughts, she forgets a lot of things, I agreed with Cana on a few things, it is not concern she spouted about it was about her and what she wanted, I had to remind her of how even now she wants to acts sometimes I cant figure out if she wants to be a man, a free woman or a slave and I reminded of how she acts like a slut at times and then thinks only of herself. Now she may think she is thinking of others but it comes out as being only about her wants and needs.
But you do not ever treat someone the way I saw her treating Cana, and no one will put that pain there again not while I live and breathe how dare she tell her that she was mistreated by men, had any man mistreated her I would have been the first to say something, Ba'atar is learning to be a mate, he will make mistakes but what she doesn't know is he would ask for advice, I gave him suggestions at times such as the little things that make a woman smile, and let her know she was important to him and that he loved her. like flowers and other things. Now lately he has been a bit of an ass to everyone, but that is because something was going on. And Ayguili he has only treated her with respect. So what right does she have to lash out like that to her causing such hurt and pain, well fuck that. And yes, I used that word I thought it and I wrote it and I would even say it if I had to, though it is not a favored word but once in a while that is the only word to use. It just pissed me off.
If Ayguili or Fonce want to rip me a new ass for slapping her then so be it, I will take the punishment.
I apologized to Cana for any upset I may have caused her by my actions, but damn it, enough was enough. I think she understood that something had to be done to change the direction of the discussion.
No matter how we tried to explain that this is a mans world and what they say is what goes. A woman remains free by the will of a man it is this way everywhere on gor. She would twist and turn it around for some reason I was not understanding, now I have been thru a lot with Silk and I love her dearly, there is much I know and if she stops to think she will see just exactly what we were saying, and that slap was to wake her up and stop the bosk shit. Nothing more nothing less. It does not change how I feel about her or that she is still a sister to me. It may her but it is a risk I took.
At the moment she can hate me, be angry at me or say what she wants of me, but don't do the sitting there with the wounded victim routine, she knows I have always been there for her and had her back that has not changed. Just as she knows I will tell her when she is doing some stupid shit, or has she forgotten the times I have stopped her from doing things that nearly lost her the right to be free. I will not sit idly by and watch anyone hurt another just because they are upset.
I wont happen. I have gone against others for Silk and fought for her, and I now do the same for Cana and if it makes me a bitch then so be it.
I walked in on something at the fires and I am not sure what all happened, there seemed to be a mood hanging in the air. Seveya left with an air of frustration lingering about her, Ayguili tone alone made me know to not say or do anything, nope now was not a good time to talk to him. He was talking to Silk, all I caught was about a bota she had and what was in it, she told him what was in it, well I know this much I wont drink from her botas, that concoction alone was enough to turn even my stomach and I have eaten raw flesh and eyeballs and other things. She took an attitude with him but I just watched having a feeling that he had angered her before I got there. So I made my way to the cooking fires and prepared some blackwine,
I listened as they spoke and I caught his tone and his mood there was no humor in it and he was not happy, when Silk walked to the fires and sat he said he did not want any woman drinking at the fires or being drunk in their own wagons that was a different story, so I asked of Kalana he said it would be allowed in moderation. Which I understood now it has been since I can remember understood that women do not drink or get drunk in public. So I did not see the issue
He asked if anyone had anything to talk of now do you think I was going to be dumb enough to bring my thoughts and concerns to him when he was in that mood, oh no. No way, I want to keep my neck free of a collar and my head on my shoulders. I would wait until he was in a better mood.
After he left there was a discussion between Silk and Cana, I listened but the more I listened the more my head hurt, I added a few parts here and there but I don't think what we were trying to explain to her was getting thru, why I do not know, some things are the way of things and you can not change some things. what part of men being in charge was she not understanding, they were going in circles and it was just enough to drive you nuts. I was not sure what Silk was not understanding or why she seemed to think there was an issue in one breath she has and issue and in the next she was saying that she was concerned and wanted to reveal that. Okay now that just had me confused.
My head was really getting to hurt even more. Good skies.
We tried to explain things but she fights against it, I love Silk to death but she has forgotten her own words and actions even as much as recent. Now I was staying out of it until she went and told Cana that if she wanted to be mistreated as a woman that was fine, oh now hold on just a moment there. Now I was not getting to involved until that point and well that was it, now I was getting involved. You do not lash out at another because your leathers are in a twist over something someone else did and you don't want to really hear what is being said. And you don't ever lash out to cause hurt and bring tears to their eyes, Cana does not realize I saw that. But I did.
Cana was right in a few things, and the more this kept up the more ticked I was getting until finally that was it, she wasn't getting anything that was being said to her and I had enough, I even gave her warning, by tell her that was enough, but did it stop no not all .
I slapped Silk not as hard as I could have but still just enough. Now, I rarely loose my temper at the fires and I rarely let my irritation get the better of me. But damn it I had heard all I needed to. She will be pissed and that is fine, but she needs to recheck her memory and her thoughts, she forgets a lot of things, I agreed with Cana on a few things, it is not concern she spouted about it was about her and what she wanted, I had to remind her of how even now she wants to acts sometimes I cant figure out if she wants to be a man, a free woman or a slave and I reminded of how she acts like a slut at times and then thinks only of herself. Now she may think she is thinking of others but it comes out as being only about her wants and needs.
But you do not ever treat someone the way I saw her treating Cana, and no one will put that pain there again not while I live and breathe how dare she tell her that she was mistreated by men, had any man mistreated her I would have been the first to say something, Ba'atar is learning to be a mate, he will make mistakes but what she doesn't know is he would ask for advice, I gave him suggestions at times such as the little things that make a woman smile, and let her know she was important to him and that he loved her. like flowers and other things. Now lately he has been a bit of an ass to everyone, but that is because something was going on. And Ayguili he has only treated her with respect. So what right does she have to lash out like that to her causing such hurt and pain, well fuck that. And yes, I used that word I thought it and I wrote it and I would even say it if I had to, though it is not a favored word but once in a while that is the only word to use. It just pissed me off.
If Ayguili or Fonce want to rip me a new ass for slapping her then so be it, I will take the punishment.
I apologized to Cana for any upset I may have caused her by my actions, but damn it, enough was enough. I think she understood that something had to be done to change the direction of the discussion.
No matter how we tried to explain that this is a mans world and what they say is what goes. A woman remains free by the will of a man it is this way everywhere on gor. She would twist and turn it around for some reason I was not understanding, now I have been thru a lot with Silk and I love her dearly, there is much I know and if she stops to think she will see just exactly what we were saying, and that slap was to wake her up and stop the bosk shit. Nothing more nothing less. It does not change how I feel about her or that she is still a sister to me. It may her but it is a risk I took.
At the moment she can hate me, be angry at me or say what she wants of me, but don't do the sitting there with the wounded victim routine, she knows I have always been there for her and had her back that has not changed. Just as she knows I will tell her when she is doing some stupid shit, or has she forgotten the times I have stopped her from doing things that nearly lost her the right to be free. I will not sit idly by and watch anyone hurt another just because they are upset.
I wont happen. I have gone against others for Silk and fought for her, and I now do the same for Cana and if it makes me a bitch then so be it.
