I had returned to the main fires for a short while and found it quiet, though it is often that way when I draw near to them. I was watching the plains there is much to see as the shadows tango with the moonlight, the quiet songs of the night speak a language that is older than time, Yamka drew near to me and she spoke of not seeing anything. I would not expect her to see what I see. She is not me and I am not her.
She spoke of my adventure and I had to look at her oddly, how is it that she knew of this, I had no adventure, and no one was told of my going to see the ancient one that I knew of. So I asked the most obvious question, "Who told you of this," She told me that Seveya mentioned it, now how is it that anyone could be speaking of this when I know that only Ayguili, Fonce and my father knew of this and one other, which I think was Cana as I was almost certain it was her voice and touch I felt. but I could be wrong I could barely make out much at that time, I do know who it was not. Now would they be speaking of this to others, and I found myself unsettled with this. Why would anyone speak of things to others that were personal and clan related, I found myself troubled by this and I said nothing more of it. I merely accepted it for what it was.
I spoke of something I wished her to make for me, with specific instructions, I did not explain why or what it was for in time she would know. But it had a purpose for the ringing ceremony and next I would decide who I wanted to do what, Cana I already had something in mind, the healers I have also have something in mind for them in regards to this, and the spot I have already chosen, it is now a matter of putting it all together to keep it simple yet meaningful and beautiful. I did not wish the meaning to be lost upon her or others as to why we did this.
Ayguili joined us and his girl odd, she served us and went about doing what it was that he would want of her. I would drink the milk with honey as Cana joined us the spoke of the new woman in the camp that was under Fonces care, Cana was not to pleased and when she spoke of what happened, I could see why she was not. I had to smile as she spoke of what she did, which seemed to surprise Ayguili. Cana has more to her than he and others realize. It was not long before the siren song of sleep called to Yamka.
Cana and I spoke with Ayguili on a few things, actually on two things in particular, we tried to guide him and I hope that we could reveal to him the things that could happen, a few things stuck in my mind and I had hope that he would not travel down either path, for I did not get the feel that either was right for him, though I felt nothing bad of either, but I had a strong impression and feeling that those two paths were to travel in a different direction. There are a few things that bothered me about one, but it wasn't my concern. I could only give my thoughts and offer some guidance from an objective empathetic way, which is different than my empath ways, I am an empath and have been since I was young, which is why I am careful in who touches me and when and how, however, being empathetic merely means to not be sympathetic to a situation,but to be understanding in a detached manner, this was taught to me by Yarll for physicians could not be sympathetic as it would destroy them if they were, and I use this in many things, it was ultimately his choice what he decided to do in regards to these things, we can only offer counsel when asked. Though I hope he is wise enough to take a different path, but each must follow what they feel is right for them.
As I watch the young women of the camp it is clear that two desire to have him, and men are blind to women, particularly the young and innocent ones,there were some things he spoke of, Cana and I gave him some thoughts on, he was not aware of a few things, and well we could not let him walk around blindly, I do know this much, the young women need to realize he is not ready for a relationship that leads to a mating. He has much healing yet to do, yet we know that each think they are the one to heal him and prove they are different each in their own way, one obvious one less than obvious but uses a different guise, His words on a few things revealed much to me, I had before he was Ubar requested to speak with him on a few things, I allowed him to know that door remains open, but his words to one made me realize that it will be a long while before I am allotted such time, perhaps I scare him to, I seem to have that effect on people, I rarely ask twice, but I never ask a third time.
When I returned to my wagons for the night, I realized that while I was tired, I was to tired too sleep, I was thinking upon the actions of a few that I am not sure of the reasons for, I begin to feel like a leper that has the bazi plague, I cannot help if a few do not wish to be around me I do not force my presence on them, I feel like I am being pushed to staying within the isolation of my wagons, why do they fear me being around them or others, I have to wonder of the agenda. I think the only one that really talks to me is Cana but her time is pulled in many directions and I would never burden her with my thoughts. It is not easy to be responsible for many things, having walked that path I do know this, so I keep much to myself once more, yet I am just more quiet and calm of it. While I have learned much during my time away I have become more acutely aware of things.
If I had doubt of that, I had confirmation today while out with the herds, I had been working quietly with the fires and branding irons. Heating them and keeping them from being mixed up,handing them off to various warriors, I did not brand any I have done it many times before and I wanted to watch the young men and women learn how to do so, it was good to see Yamka learning how to brand and notch the calves, it is something new for her, Cana was cutting the herd and I had to smile as I watched her, I did not yet trust my sense balance to be riding within the bosk like that, although I am a skilled rider, I knew I still yet felt not myself so I wouldn't be foolish and risk myself or others . I went to do something and another seemed to forget I was there doing it and another was asked to take over, once more I felt as if I were invisible, I was sort of surprised but not really, I had learned to not get my expectations to high, I noticed the way another drew near, little escapes my observations of people. And this one often makes it clear that somehow I am less and makes sure I know it not with words but with actions over the past few hands, I do not hold negative thoughts, in fact I take it for what it is. And yet I would not linger to feel the less than pleasant effects or coolness of others. I am not a masochist, a bit of a sadist yes, but definitely not the later.
After a few ehn I decided to ride out and ensure that there were no stragglers running about, I see what bonds have been formed and where they flow, for a moment I had foolish hope of some things. But the hand of reality has a way of reaching out and smacking me and reminding me of my place. For a moment I had allowed myself to step out, pretty foolish Tarra, I would mutter to myself, pretty stupid. I was weary of trying, I would give a few what they wanted. I was foolish to believe.
After some time I would then return to my wagons and gather some herbs and sit by the fire, there I would cut them and separate them to use for various things some would be for oils and lotions,and others for tinctures and seasoning. It was a laborious process that would take a few ahns to complete, I did not mind, it kept me busy. There was nothing in the clan for me to do and nothing within the tribe that needed me for anything, each person had something that they were needed to do, and I seemed to have plenty of free time and I would use it wisely for it was time to clean out that spex wagon, and I steeled myself for that project , once inside I would begin to move out all the various chests, jars, and bunches dried plants and other various oddities. A few things I had forgotten of,such as the jars of spider venom I had secured in a box, I studied them for a moment, contemplating a use for them as I spied the broken blue arrow that I had put away. I touched my shoulder in remembrance as I looked out over the plains.
A thought formulated in my mind as I lay it beside that box. It was then I saw Chulun and Bolormaa nearing, he had claimed her as his mate after she healed, and I was most pleased to see them so happy, she was recovering well. I had not seen either of them before I went to see the old one. They would sit by my fires for a bit and I would make them some tea,they asked of the visit to the blind one, I shared what I could recall. They would listen quietly and then smile, "Good, good." Chulun would state. "Have patience with yourself and others as all settles in the winds." Here he went with his cryptic words again. But I did not have a smart come back for him, instead I would nod and smile.
I think I took him by surprise.
She spoke of my adventure and I had to look at her oddly, how is it that she knew of this, I had no adventure, and no one was told of my going to see the ancient one that I knew of. So I asked the most obvious question, "Who told you of this," She told me that Seveya mentioned it, now how is it that anyone could be speaking of this when I know that only Ayguili, Fonce and my father knew of this and one other, which I think was Cana as I was almost certain it was her voice and touch I felt. but I could be wrong I could barely make out much at that time, I do know who it was not. Now would they be speaking of this to others, and I found myself unsettled with this. Why would anyone speak of things to others that were personal and clan related, I found myself troubled by this and I said nothing more of it. I merely accepted it for what it was.
I spoke of something I wished her to make for me, with specific instructions, I did not explain why or what it was for in time she would know. But it had a purpose for the ringing ceremony and next I would decide who I wanted to do what, Cana I already had something in mind, the healers I have also have something in mind for them in regards to this, and the spot I have already chosen, it is now a matter of putting it all together to keep it simple yet meaningful and beautiful. I did not wish the meaning to be lost upon her or others as to why we did this.
Ayguili joined us and his girl odd, she served us and went about doing what it was that he would want of her. I would drink the milk with honey as Cana joined us the spoke of the new woman in the camp that was under Fonces care, Cana was not to pleased and when she spoke of what happened, I could see why she was not. I had to smile as she spoke of what she did, which seemed to surprise Ayguili. Cana has more to her than he and others realize. It was not long before the siren song of sleep called to Yamka.
Cana and I spoke with Ayguili on a few things, actually on two things in particular, we tried to guide him and I hope that we could reveal to him the things that could happen, a few things stuck in my mind and I had hope that he would not travel down either path, for I did not get the feel that either was right for him, though I felt nothing bad of either, but I had a strong impression and feeling that those two paths were to travel in a different direction. There are a few things that bothered me about one, but it wasn't my concern. I could only give my thoughts and offer some guidance from an objective empathetic way, which is different than my empath ways, I am an empath and have been since I was young, which is why I am careful in who touches me and when and how, however, being empathetic merely means to not be sympathetic to a situation,but to be understanding in a detached manner, this was taught to me by Yarll for physicians could not be sympathetic as it would destroy them if they were, and I use this in many things, it was ultimately his choice what he decided to do in regards to these things, we can only offer counsel when asked. Though I hope he is wise enough to take a different path, but each must follow what they feel is right for them.
As I watch the young women of the camp it is clear that two desire to have him, and men are blind to women, particularly the young and innocent ones,there were some things he spoke of, Cana and I gave him some thoughts on, he was not aware of a few things, and well we could not let him walk around blindly, I do know this much, the young women need to realize he is not ready for a relationship that leads to a mating. He has much healing yet to do, yet we know that each think they are the one to heal him and prove they are different each in their own way, one obvious one less than obvious but uses a different guise, His words on a few things revealed much to me, I had before he was Ubar requested to speak with him on a few things, I allowed him to know that door remains open, but his words to one made me realize that it will be a long while before I am allotted such time, perhaps I scare him to, I seem to have that effect on people, I rarely ask twice, but I never ask a third time.
When I returned to my wagons for the night, I realized that while I was tired, I was to tired too sleep, I was thinking upon the actions of a few that I am not sure of the reasons for, I begin to feel like a leper that has the bazi plague, I cannot help if a few do not wish to be around me I do not force my presence on them, I feel like I am being pushed to staying within the isolation of my wagons, why do they fear me being around them or others, I have to wonder of the agenda. I think the only one that really talks to me is Cana but her time is pulled in many directions and I would never burden her with my thoughts. It is not easy to be responsible for many things, having walked that path I do know this, so I keep much to myself once more, yet I am just more quiet and calm of it. While I have learned much during my time away I have become more acutely aware of things.
If I had doubt of that, I had confirmation today while out with the herds, I had been working quietly with the fires and branding irons. Heating them and keeping them from being mixed up,handing them off to various warriors, I did not brand any I have done it many times before and I wanted to watch the young men and women learn how to do so, it was good to see Yamka learning how to brand and notch the calves, it is something new for her, Cana was cutting the herd and I had to smile as I watched her, I did not yet trust my sense balance to be riding within the bosk like that, although I am a skilled rider, I knew I still yet felt not myself so I wouldn't be foolish and risk myself or others . I went to do something and another seemed to forget I was there doing it and another was asked to take over, once more I felt as if I were invisible, I was sort of surprised but not really, I had learned to not get my expectations to high, I noticed the way another drew near, little escapes my observations of people. And this one often makes it clear that somehow I am less and makes sure I know it not with words but with actions over the past few hands, I do not hold negative thoughts, in fact I take it for what it is. And yet I would not linger to feel the less than pleasant effects or coolness of others. I am not a masochist, a bit of a sadist yes, but definitely not the later.
After a few ehn I decided to ride out and ensure that there were no stragglers running about, I see what bonds have been formed and where they flow, for a moment I had foolish hope of some things. But the hand of reality has a way of reaching out and smacking me and reminding me of my place. For a moment I had allowed myself to step out, pretty foolish Tarra, I would mutter to myself, pretty stupid. I was weary of trying, I would give a few what they wanted. I was foolish to believe.
After some time I would then return to my wagons and gather some herbs and sit by the fire, there I would cut them and separate them to use for various things some would be for oils and lotions,and others for tinctures and seasoning. It was a laborious process that would take a few ahns to complete, I did not mind, it kept me busy. There was nothing in the clan for me to do and nothing within the tribe that needed me for anything, each person had something that they were needed to do, and I seemed to have plenty of free time and I would use it wisely for it was time to clean out that spex wagon, and I steeled myself for that project , once inside I would begin to move out all the various chests, jars, and bunches dried plants and other various oddities. A few things I had forgotten of,such as the jars of spider venom I had secured in a box, I studied them for a moment, contemplating a use for them as I spied the broken blue arrow that I had put away. I touched my shoulder in remembrance as I looked out over the plains.
A thought formulated in my mind as I lay it beside that box. It was then I saw Chulun and Bolormaa nearing, he had claimed her as his mate after she healed, and I was most pleased to see them so happy, she was recovering well. I had not seen either of them before I went to see the old one. They would sit by my fires for a bit and I would make them some tea,they asked of the visit to the blind one, I shared what I could recall. They would listen quietly and then smile, "Good, good." Chulun would state. "Have patience with yourself and others as all settles in the winds." Here he went with his cryptic words again. But I did not have a smart come back for him, instead I would nod and smile.
I think I took him by surprise.
