I came to a very quick conclusion, there are things in this wagon that even I did not know I had, good skies. I think some things need to be discarded they are older than my eldest children, and some things I am not even sure why I have them I must have needed them for something at one time, so I move thru the layers of stuff. Every now and then a wave of sneezing takes over and I wonder if I will be able to catch my breath. It definitely needed cleaning out. But then again I definitely needed to get a new wagon,for this one has seen better days.
After a few ahns I made some progress, and I could see a small area cleared. The various roots and plants I had hanging I did not touch for they would be needed eventually. I had to suddenly laugh, as I picked up a small dried flower that had a black ribbon around it and another ribbon that had dried blood on it. They had been tucked inside an old journal that held many drawings of plants and research I had done on some rare ones, The larger ribbon had been from a heart Lochley had sent me as a gift one time while he was hunting, I still can see in my mind the slave girl he sent to deliver it, there was a color to her that I swear I thought she was going to die on the spot, on a platter was a human heart, fresh, blood had settled about it, it was his way of letting me know he was thinking of me, I know that poor girl did not understand but I did, he was a full blooded uncivilized mamba, it was the way he knew to express his heart,he had been a man of honor, courage and was simplistic in his way of life. Many thought I ate that heart but I didn't, at that time I couldn't I was still learning their ways, so I had given it to others that could use it. But the ribbon I kept, I had given it to Lochlan when he was younger he had asked of it and wanted it. The dried flower was a gift from Lochlan, he had been all of seven turnings. He thought he was a man, and he had to follow in his fathers footsteps so he tied a ribbon on the flower and he had given it to me, he said so that I knew he was thinking of me. There is nothing like the love of a child, these things I would keep, they are things that only a mother and a mate could cherish and understand. I don't think anyone would really appreciate the heart. But in a way that had been one of the best gifts ever given to me because of where it came from, I have one other gift that is just as cherished, the larl tooth and feather, Garyx had made them for me and his reason behind it was so that he would always be with me and I would always have his strength and him with me.
As I worked I glanced at that damn skull that I kept covered, I had put it in here because I wasn't keeping it in my personal wagon, it talked to much, I never knew why Fonce gave it to me and I don't think it was because the voices kept him awake, I think there is much more to it than I have yet to discover, but I could still hear it even though covered, though I am more used to it now and sometimes I even tune it out, of course when I do that, it tends to get louder I think just to get attention, maybe it was a man.
It was awhile later I heard my name being called a few times, that was odd, I thought to myself, whoever it was seemed to be distressed, I dusted myself off and walked out my spex wagon and looked to the young woman nearing, she looked upset and I could see the tears that stained her cheeks. "What is wrong Astrarea ?" She would stop and cross her arms, " Is it true there is only one path to follow within the clan that if I am not like others then I am wrong.?" Her question was not one I was expecting so I suspect something had happened. I motioned for her to sit next to me, " No, this is not true, we have different paths or traditions within the clan, although some things are similar or the same, we each have different ways to do things." She sniffled and wiped her nose and looked at me, she was one that I have taught a few things to here and there when one of the others needed their students to learn specific things,particularly the elements and other things, as I watched her it occurred to me, "What element are you working with ?" I would inquire.
"Water." She replied in a wavering tone. Now it made sense, and I gently touched her arm, "You are feeling much this past hand haven't you?" And she would nod, "Think about what you are working with, water is of our emotions, it purifies, it also the subconscious part of our mind, our intuition and the mysteries of ourselves are all found in water. Water dares you to find your self and to feel your emotions." she was listening I knew that. " You are feeling everything more intensely and emotionally at the moment."
"Take a deep breath and look within yourself, do not doubt yourself, do not fear yourself and most importantly love yourself. Sometimes others may speak of things that they do not yet fully grasp or they may also be working with an element." I smiled gently to her. " None of us are exactly alike, and yet some of us can do the same things, and we need that because sometimes we need more than one of the same ability.And we must always have male and female for balance, there is the masculine side of everything and the feminine side of everything. " I watched as she calmed herself and began to relax. " So because I follow something that another teaches that you don't or one of the others doesn't, then I am not strange." I almost laughed but I didn't for I understood what she meant and I understood the power of water and its force on emotions," Well I think each of us are strange in some way, but there is nothing wrong with you, you have chosen I different path within the clan,and you must always follow what is true and right for you. Not what others tell you is right. " She would nod her head in understanding and smile. " I knew that you would be able to help me."
I would nod, "I am always here any time you wish to talk or need something, I am a good listener. But I would suggest that maybe you change the element you are working with." She would laugh softly, "Yes I think so, this one is really tearing me apart." As she left I would watch her, I understood that upheaval, when I was first learning of the elements I think water was my hardest one, because of the emotions, you could be calm one moment and suddenly burst into tears or a fit of anger, it can wreck havoc even on the most sane and grounded person. I hope that she learned what she was supposed to.
After a few ahns I made some progress, and I could see a small area cleared. The various roots and plants I had hanging I did not touch for they would be needed eventually. I had to suddenly laugh, as I picked up a small dried flower that had a black ribbon around it and another ribbon that had dried blood on it. They had been tucked inside an old journal that held many drawings of plants and research I had done on some rare ones, The larger ribbon had been from a heart Lochley had sent me as a gift one time while he was hunting, I still can see in my mind the slave girl he sent to deliver it, there was a color to her that I swear I thought she was going to die on the spot, on a platter was a human heart, fresh, blood had settled about it, it was his way of letting me know he was thinking of me, I know that poor girl did not understand but I did, he was a full blooded uncivilized mamba, it was the way he knew to express his heart,he had been a man of honor, courage and was simplistic in his way of life. Many thought I ate that heart but I didn't, at that time I couldn't I was still learning their ways, so I had given it to others that could use it. But the ribbon I kept, I had given it to Lochlan when he was younger he had asked of it and wanted it. The dried flower was a gift from Lochlan, he had been all of seven turnings. He thought he was a man, and he had to follow in his fathers footsteps so he tied a ribbon on the flower and he had given it to me, he said so that I knew he was thinking of me. There is nothing like the love of a child, these things I would keep, they are things that only a mother and a mate could cherish and understand. I don't think anyone would really appreciate the heart. But in a way that had been one of the best gifts ever given to me because of where it came from, I have one other gift that is just as cherished, the larl tooth and feather, Garyx had made them for me and his reason behind it was so that he would always be with me and I would always have his strength and him with me.
As I worked I glanced at that damn skull that I kept covered, I had put it in here because I wasn't keeping it in my personal wagon, it talked to much, I never knew why Fonce gave it to me and I don't think it was because the voices kept him awake, I think there is much more to it than I have yet to discover, but I could still hear it even though covered, though I am more used to it now and sometimes I even tune it out, of course when I do that, it tends to get louder I think just to get attention, maybe it was a man.
It was awhile later I heard my name being called a few times, that was odd, I thought to myself, whoever it was seemed to be distressed, I dusted myself off and walked out my spex wagon and looked to the young woman nearing, she looked upset and I could see the tears that stained her cheeks. "What is wrong Astrarea ?" She would stop and cross her arms, " Is it true there is only one path to follow within the clan that if I am not like others then I am wrong.?" Her question was not one I was expecting so I suspect something had happened. I motioned for her to sit next to me, " No, this is not true, we have different paths or traditions within the clan, although some things are similar or the same, we each have different ways to do things." She sniffled and wiped her nose and looked at me, she was one that I have taught a few things to here and there when one of the others needed their students to learn specific things,particularly the elements and other things, as I watched her it occurred to me, "What element are you working with ?" I would inquire.
"Water." She replied in a wavering tone. Now it made sense, and I gently touched her arm, "You are feeling much this past hand haven't you?" And she would nod, "Think about what you are working with, water is of our emotions, it purifies, it also the subconscious part of our mind, our intuition and the mysteries of ourselves are all found in water. Water dares you to find your self and to feel your emotions." she was listening I knew that. " You are feeling everything more intensely and emotionally at the moment."
"Take a deep breath and look within yourself, do not doubt yourself, do not fear yourself and most importantly love yourself. Sometimes others may speak of things that they do not yet fully grasp or they may also be working with an element." I smiled gently to her. " None of us are exactly alike, and yet some of us can do the same things, and we need that because sometimes we need more than one of the same ability.And we must always have male and female for balance, there is the masculine side of everything and the feminine side of everything. " I watched as she calmed herself and began to relax. " So because I follow something that another teaches that you don't or one of the others doesn't, then I am not strange." I almost laughed but I didn't for I understood what she meant and I understood the power of water and its force on emotions," Well I think each of us are strange in some way, but there is nothing wrong with you, you have chosen I different path within the clan,and you must always follow what is true and right for you. Not what others tell you is right. " She would nod her head in understanding and smile. " I knew that you would be able to help me."
I would nod, "I am always here any time you wish to talk or need something, I am a good listener. But I would suggest that maybe you change the element you are working with." She would laugh softly, "Yes I think so, this one is really tearing me apart." As she left I would watch her, I understood that upheaval, when I was first learning of the elements I think water was my hardest one, because of the emotions, you could be calm one moment and suddenly burst into tears or a fit of anger, it can wreck havoc even on the most sane and grounded person. I hope that she learned what she was supposed to.
