I did not have to pretend to know what she asked, " I see innocence and hope" I would state as I watched myself so full of desire to want to know more, I had been learning many things and I was like a sponge soaking up and absorbing everything, at that time in my life I only wanted to learn of my clan, I was not interested in men or anything else. " I know that I am learning, I have the will to follow the disciplines and trials by fire, I feel all that is around me and I hear the silence." I would state, softly. " I see life and laughter in my eyes and an array of colors about me." I would add.
"Now travel along the winds until the time you were taken from the plains." I felt myself tense and the fire would rise and begin to rage and fluctuate, the air began to shriek and the water began to rise as if a tidal wave were near, the ground began to shake, "Feel it." she would whisper and as much as I didn't want to do so, I forced myself to look. " I feel hate and anger" was stated for at that time I felt both for my father. "Keep going thru all that happened after that."
I felt the pain and first taste of the deepest of sorrows rush thru my body the heart wrenching cries that would be pulled from me as these emotions rushed thru me created an even higher level of energy, the first time I felt betrayal and lies, and dishonor of men. She guided me along ever key moment in my life, drawing forth all the anger and all the pain that was dwelling deep within, I could feel my tears flow as they never have before, I could feel all the elements whirl around me touching me and consuming me, I felt the levitation that came easily to me as I felt the rage rush forth and I felt the pain rush forth much like an abscessed wound that has been lanced and irrigated. The putrid thoughts would emerge and be burned off, this went of for many ahns. as everything was touched including the present. All that I felt was taken from me and burned away. I was consumed by the emotions and the elements and the power behind such was released in a fury that had never been allowed.
It was so intense that I did not even feel the winds whip about me the skirt would flutter about my legs as if removing the base emotions that were laden within my very being. Eventually I was so exhausted from it that suddenly there was silence , I would have fallen had I not felt arms wrap about me giving me an anchor to hold on to. "I will help you, hold on to me." I heard a voice state, I was not sure at first who it was but I knew it was a man, when I realized who it was,at first I wanted to pull away and fight, but I did not. I put my trust in him and allowed myself to lean on him for support, I felt the energy flow from my hands along the markings as I raised my hands upward. Then the ancient one spoke. "Now feel all the good and joyful things you have known in your life." I was not sure I could summon the energy to do so, when he spoke "You can do this." His tone encouraging, why was he helping me, surely he must think I have lost my mind. But I heard a low chuckle, " Even elders need help " Perhaps he understood more than I realized, and I would nod.
I would travel thru the mists of time once more allowing myself once more to allow the natural elemental part of myself emerge to embrace the beautiful and wonderful things that have occurred, it is odd that you feel a sense of lightness when you walk thru the fires of transformation. " We weave a web of power tonight, a web of protection and light. I know now why I was killed in my dreams, I understand what is being shown." but before I could say much I felt myself begin to lose the energy and my eyes closed. I only remember being lifted and carried out of the circle, I could hear him speak to the ancient one. " Was this the only way ?" And I pondered the question as the old one answered yes. "It takes to much out of us that is why we rarely do such." I heard him state in a tone I recognized. The ancient one only laughed.
"That is why she had to do it. It was a new path that needed to be set in motion, you have caught a glimpse of what she wields,so something that strong was needed, and much needed to be removed by the destruction of a storm. She will be fine." Now why was he worried, then it dawned on me just what happened, and the effects of it. "Damn" I would mutter low. I swear I heard a laugh, as he said it was a little to late now. It was a good thing I was not just learning or weak. I knew I could have easily died from this ritual of transformation. Although I was exhausted there was a sense of well being,and a lightness of my mind, spirit and heart. "Sleep for a while." I heard them both say.
For now all I wanted to do was close my eyes and sleep. I would not even be aware of being taken back to the camp and placed in my own wagon.
"Now travel along the winds until the time you were taken from the plains." I felt myself tense and the fire would rise and begin to rage and fluctuate, the air began to shriek and the water began to rise as if a tidal wave were near, the ground began to shake, "Feel it." she would whisper and as much as I didn't want to do so, I forced myself to look. " I feel hate and anger" was stated for at that time I felt both for my father. "Keep going thru all that happened after that."
I felt the pain and first taste of the deepest of sorrows rush thru my body the heart wrenching cries that would be pulled from me as these emotions rushed thru me created an even higher level of energy, the first time I felt betrayal and lies, and dishonor of men. She guided me along ever key moment in my life, drawing forth all the anger and all the pain that was dwelling deep within, I could feel my tears flow as they never have before, I could feel all the elements whirl around me touching me and consuming me, I felt the levitation that came easily to me as I felt the rage rush forth and I felt the pain rush forth much like an abscessed wound that has been lanced and irrigated. The putrid thoughts would emerge and be burned off, this went of for many ahns. as everything was touched including the present. All that I felt was taken from me and burned away. I was consumed by the emotions and the elements and the power behind such was released in a fury that had never been allowed.
It was so intense that I did not even feel the winds whip about me the skirt would flutter about my legs as if removing the base emotions that were laden within my very being. Eventually I was so exhausted from it that suddenly there was silence , I would have fallen had I not felt arms wrap about me giving me an anchor to hold on to. "I will help you, hold on to me." I heard a voice state, I was not sure at first who it was but I knew it was a man, when I realized who it was,at first I wanted to pull away and fight, but I did not. I put my trust in him and allowed myself to lean on him for support, I felt the energy flow from my hands along the markings as I raised my hands upward. Then the ancient one spoke. "Now feel all the good and joyful things you have known in your life." I was not sure I could summon the energy to do so, when he spoke "You can do this." His tone encouraging, why was he helping me, surely he must think I have lost my mind. But I heard a low chuckle, " Even elders need help " Perhaps he understood more than I realized, and I would nod.
I would travel thru the mists of time once more allowing myself once more to allow the natural elemental part of myself emerge to embrace the beautiful and wonderful things that have occurred, it is odd that you feel a sense of lightness when you walk thru the fires of transformation. " We weave a web of power tonight, a web of protection and light. I know now why I was killed in my dreams, I understand what is being shown." but before I could say much I felt myself begin to lose the energy and my eyes closed. I only remember being lifted and carried out of the circle, I could hear him speak to the ancient one. " Was this the only way ?" And I pondered the question as the old one answered yes. "It takes to much out of us that is why we rarely do such." I heard him state in a tone I recognized. The ancient one only laughed.
"That is why she had to do it. It was a new path that needed to be set in motion, you have caught a glimpse of what she wields,so something that strong was needed, and much needed to be removed by the destruction of a storm. She will be fine." Now why was he worried, then it dawned on me just what happened, and the effects of it. "Damn" I would mutter low. I swear I heard a laugh, as he said it was a little to late now. It was a good thing I was not just learning or weak. I knew I could have easily died from this ritual of transformation. Although I was exhausted there was a sense of well being,and a lightness of my mind, spirit and heart. "Sleep for a while." I heard them both say.
For now all I wanted to do was close my eyes and sleep. I would not even be aware of being taken back to the camp and placed in my own wagon.
