It was somewhat of a surprise to find out Silk is younger than me, damnation, and she is by about 24 turnings, is that not a bitch. Talk about feeling ancient.. She said that explained a lot, I am not quite sure what that means.
It took me a while to settle into a restful sleep, in fact I found myself walking about during the night, riding Eclipse along the edges of the wagons, he moved quietly along the plains and I was glad to see he had the ability to do so. There are times when you announce your self and times when you do not. I think it was an ahn or two before I finally returned to my own and lay down to sleep for that short time.
Before I could even have time to realize that the time had passed, it was time to get up. I prepared for the second day of our journey, walking some and riding some. It seemed to me that the trail today was more difficult, one of the wagons had broken an axle which split us up, that worried me a bit, but I knew that we would come together once more, but even so, there was plenty of close moments as various wagons were unbalanced and nearly toppled it seemed, but slowly we made our way along the trail until it was time to stop, I do not think I was the only one that was glad to stop for the night.
I sat by the fires with Cana and a few others, a few I had not met before and I watched with a curiosity, the one good thing for prospects, is I was to tired to truly test them and see what they knew. I had some black wine and watched and listened. Fonce joined us also, I was surprised he spoke to me. Perhaps there was hope but I wasn't going to hold my breath. The Spex prospect she is very young, and quiet, but I wonder what more there is to her. She expressed her condolences which I accepted, for I felt it was sincere. You can see the laughter in her and the hint of a underlying seriousness and want as well.
Ayguili joined us also, and I asked him if he had scarred Arkus he had not and told me that he would when we reached camp, I understood this and it made sense to me. We spoke of my youngest son, I had already spoken to Ba'atar of when the time came to name him, and I wanted to also follow up with when he should have his first scar that it would be taken care of. I was a bit surprised by Cana telling me it was to soon, I sort of felt attacked at first, given that this was my son we were talking of and I was fulfilling a dying mans wish and keeping my promise, I wanted to lash out in anger, and I did bristle just a bit, I realized she did not understand what I was doing. So I said nothing more, I merely sat there thinking for a few and watching others and how she seemed to sometimes change depending on who she is around, so I watched this. It dawned one me that she had not changed, but was reaching out to others in various ways, and like all of us, there are times we do not realize how something can be seen or presented. I had to smile within myself, our little tabuk had finally stepped into her own. How many can say they have watched someone grow in such a way.
After some time I asked her to join me, I had a purpose in mind as I took her hand and traced the lines on her hand, every Spex has something that fascinates them, as well as each one has certain abilities and while we all have the same ones and basic knowledge and foundations, we are also each unique, I have always been fascinated by watching people, listening to the vibrations in their tones, and while I tend to not be flamboyant, I know how to read the cards, toss the bones and divine much in almost anything, but they are merely tools, I choose to create ambience for readings for people because they need it, not because I do. The hands also fascinate me, the shape, the color, the lines and so many things, they are the map of the mind. The reveal much of a person. You can even tell if someone is a womanizer or in the case of a woman a slut who would spread her legs for any man even if she is a free woman.. And so many other things.. I showed Cana the life line, now it can reveal death, but we do not tell a person when they will die, that is something forbidden to do. I told her what it meant when it was wide like hers is, and the heart line I revealed also what it meant, but I only gave her a taste of those two, there are so many others. I also explained to her, that by talking to Ba'atar and Ayguili I fulfilled my promise, there was not time set or age spoken of, only that it would be done. My youngest son is young I do know this, but I was not requesting for now, as I spoke to her she began to understand just what I had done.
She apologized for overstepping, I had to smile to her, there was no need for apologies, she is family, and families do get involved in each others lives, and if they feel one is making a mistake or doing something they should not then we speak up. I did not need an apology. With friends and family there is communication, expressions of thought and emotions, sometimes passionately, sometimes less so. I think we understood each other a bit more, we shared a hug, I am getting better at the touching thing, well I am good at such with my mate, but with others I am more cautious, slowly I think parts of me begin to emerge once more. Parts that had been lost since I was young. What will finally be left I am not even sure.
I spent some time with her and the new prospects for a short time, shocking thing happened, Ayguili was being friendly, he even smiled and laughed. I was not sure we could survive this, it was a shock to the system. Perhaps he also was finding a beginning of peace within himself and of life, I could hope that he would. Everyone deserves to have a second chance at life, especially when they have endured things that just break their faith in others. Although we were not sure if it was us or perhaps just one other that was with us that brought about this sudden transformation. Either way I found it rather interesting to watch, and of course tease him about it.
I left everyone a bit early to go rest, I was beyond exhausted and knew to rest before I fell asleep where I stood, I hate that it takes me getting to this point before I can sleep, the restlessness that plagues me is like some terminal disease I cant shake, and I hate going to my furs and seeing only the simplicity of sudden loneliness.
