The days roll by one behind the other cascading and folding into each other and the trail has had its usual share of hazards and difficulties, not that this is new, after so many of them you are more worried if there were no obstacles or something occurring on the trail than you are of what you expect to happen. I have not really had time to write, so that leaves me behind on many thoughts and occurrences, to summarize would not do them justice and yet to not write of them seems to not give them value, and each person has a value to life. Every thought has importance even if it is to purge your soul and let you heal, or if it is to give you the answer to a thought or put things in perspective, everything has relevance no matter how big or small, no matter if positive or negative, because sometimes you can work thru a negative emotion and roll along its turbulent ways only in the end to come up with an insight you did not expect.
The rains had come slowly at first, coming in hints and of a foreshadowing glimpse of what was to come, eventually the ground was rewarded with a gentle caress of water but initially not enough to make a great impact or quench the thirst of the plains, that would come a few days later in a way that would make an impression for quite a few days. It was good to see the grass flourish and become richer in color, the fragrance of the rain and grass mingled to hang heavy in the air, the laughter of the children would ring around the wagons as they danced in glorious pageantry, It was during this time that I noticed a red feather painted on my wagon, I had not noticed it before as it was not in any place that was conspicuous, I wondered of it for a moment as I studied the detail, then I smiled realizing who it was from the why I was not yet sure of but I knew when the time was right I would learn the answer.
For a few days my time by the fires was brief and short as there was much to do that kept me busy,oddly enough I find myself more tired than usual, I think it is because I am doing more than I normally would do, some of it is mostly out of habit, I know I have fallen back into some old habits now that I am alone, I find I no longer mind the loneliness it has become a familiar companion, dependable and never changing. While I move on with life and at times I feel the heaviness of the struggle to step past that all encompassing shadow of what was and what could have been, I have my moments where my emotions get the better of me and I cry myself to sleep, it could be a milestone in the youngest sons life and his father is not there to share in them and beam with pride, it could be something that stirs a memory that suddenly comes alive with an intensity that shocks me.
Sometimes watching the prospects set their sites on young warriors and begin their journey of learning of love and life it brings about a conflict of thought and a touch of envy, I remember how it feels to feel those things and yet I feel the pangs of the loss of it in a way that leaves me feeling hollow and cold. And yet at the same time I watch them sometimes with amusement as manage to accidentally do things that remind me of young foals finding their legs, I hope that in their desires to find love that they do not lose sight of what at the moment is a priority and that is proving themselves. I offer advise when it is asked and have found myself at times in a position to listen and let them release their emotions, there are some things I cannot make better, but I can offer to them the guidance to not give up and to know that they are not alone.
The bosk has been blocking our path for several days, I have taken this time to work with my youngest son on perfecting his skill with the quiva, he has done exceptionally well, not that I am surprised his father taught him everything about riding and weapons since before he could walk. I am very proud of my youngest son, he has a focus in him that is often lost in young children, his father had that quiet focus, it is good to see such in him, though sometimes it is quite painful when he looks at me with those vibrant green eyes, they are so much like his that it takes me off guard.
I think back to a discussion I had with Fonce on the reading of the weather and also on the storm, I was not sure if he was ready or not for what I was thinking of showing him, his answers about the elements clued me in that he may not yet be ready, while he has stepped into much, I did not really get a solid confirmation that he was yet ready, and I would never knowingly risk him harm by subjecting him to something he is not ready for. When I asked him of the elements that the was pulled to I am not sure he really understood what I asked, I could be wrong but the feeling I got was that while he knows them he does not truly know them in the way you need to in order to harness their power, I think that he fights them for reasons I don't yet know and he does not share, I am not one that has his ear or his confidence, and given our rocky history that is understandable and I do not think less of him for it, in time who knows what may or may not occur.
I think though if he were to truly understand the ones he is connected to he would understand more of himself, just like the young Mezoo, by her answer of the elements I know that she is connected to one, not all, while she may work with each as every spex does, she does not have the ones drawn to her that would bring her to be one of the ones that are part of them all in a way that comes together to create a storm, I knew that by how she answered. However, the one that she is drawn to and is connected to now that is very much her, from what I have observed, there are interesting things for her to be gifted with once she learns more of herself and the clan,if she wishes to learn of things I will give answers but I wont overstep any boundaries as I know Fonce is her mentor.
Perhaps they will learn the meaning of the elements together, that would be an interesting night of education,one that I would actually enjoy and in the process that they might learn that fire is more than a flame, and water is more than a liquid substance just as air is more than just the moving of the winds, within each of them there is an attribute that we draw on and a single thing bound to each of them. There is so much each of them that I see in the elements they spoke of, I see the strength of the elements in them. One day they may seek me out to understand all aspects of these things, when they do all else will come easier to them for in everyday life we use all the elements separately. Noelani I have yet to see what she chooses, however I have always thought and still think Fonce may yet be the next one that is a part of all elements in the literal sense and I have spoken to the other elders , and I had confirmation by the answer to my question. I find out things by simple means. Perhaps the next storm he may be ready. But as always we watch for now to see how things turn out for each of them in all aspects of their life.
This trail has revealed so much of people so far, the web of life is weaving and entwining connecting each of us to each other on some level . So it is the way of the people of the plains to be connected to each other, so that together we stand strong and proud. There is no one person above another. There is no one person better than another.
To remain strong we must remain true to our ways to teach the young why the grass and water is important, why the bosk is revered, why we do not pick the grass, why it is important to a warrior to earn his name and the importance of never taking a warriors name in vain or abuse it, why it is important to earn the scar of courage, why a free woman earns her nose ring and when, and so many other things that make the life of a tuchuk the life of a tuchuk. This is the responsibility of all of us to ensure we remain strong by teaching and guiding, and to keep the taint of the dwellers from the plains and to keep it wild, free and untamable just like the tuchuk free woman that a warrior mates.
We are more than we appear.
We know more than we reveal
We Tuchuks know of many things..... .......... of more than we tell." Nomads of Gor pg 344
The rains had come slowly at first, coming in hints and of a foreshadowing glimpse of what was to come, eventually the ground was rewarded with a gentle caress of water but initially not enough to make a great impact or quench the thirst of the plains, that would come a few days later in a way that would make an impression for quite a few days. It was good to see the grass flourish and become richer in color, the fragrance of the rain and grass mingled to hang heavy in the air, the laughter of the children would ring around the wagons as they danced in glorious pageantry, It was during this time that I noticed a red feather painted on my wagon, I had not noticed it before as it was not in any place that was conspicuous, I wondered of it for a moment as I studied the detail, then I smiled realizing who it was from the why I was not yet sure of but I knew when the time was right I would learn the answer.
For a few days my time by the fires was brief and short as there was much to do that kept me busy,oddly enough I find myself more tired than usual, I think it is because I am doing more than I normally would do, some of it is mostly out of habit, I know I have fallen back into some old habits now that I am alone, I find I no longer mind the loneliness it has become a familiar companion, dependable and never changing. While I move on with life and at times I feel the heaviness of the struggle to step past that all encompassing shadow of what was and what could have been, I have my moments where my emotions get the better of me and I cry myself to sleep, it could be a milestone in the youngest sons life and his father is not there to share in them and beam with pride, it could be something that stirs a memory that suddenly comes alive with an intensity that shocks me.
Sometimes watching the prospects set their sites on young warriors and begin their journey of learning of love and life it brings about a conflict of thought and a touch of envy, I remember how it feels to feel those things and yet I feel the pangs of the loss of it in a way that leaves me feeling hollow and cold. And yet at the same time I watch them sometimes with amusement as manage to accidentally do things that remind me of young foals finding their legs, I hope that in their desires to find love that they do not lose sight of what at the moment is a priority and that is proving themselves. I offer advise when it is asked and have found myself at times in a position to listen and let them release their emotions, there are some things I cannot make better, but I can offer to them the guidance to not give up and to know that they are not alone.
The bosk has been blocking our path for several days, I have taken this time to work with my youngest son on perfecting his skill with the quiva, he has done exceptionally well, not that I am surprised his father taught him everything about riding and weapons since before he could walk. I am very proud of my youngest son, he has a focus in him that is often lost in young children, his father had that quiet focus, it is good to see such in him, though sometimes it is quite painful when he looks at me with those vibrant green eyes, they are so much like his that it takes me off guard.
I think back to a discussion I had with Fonce on the reading of the weather and also on the storm, I was not sure if he was ready or not for what I was thinking of showing him, his answers about the elements clued me in that he may not yet be ready, while he has stepped into much, I did not really get a solid confirmation that he was yet ready, and I would never knowingly risk him harm by subjecting him to something he is not ready for. When I asked him of the elements that the was pulled to I am not sure he really understood what I asked, I could be wrong but the feeling I got was that while he knows them he does not truly know them in the way you need to in order to harness their power, I think that he fights them for reasons I don't yet know and he does not share, I am not one that has his ear or his confidence, and given our rocky history that is understandable and I do not think less of him for it, in time who knows what may or may not occur.
I think though if he were to truly understand the ones he is connected to he would understand more of himself, just like the young Mezoo, by her answer of the elements I know that she is connected to one, not all, while she may work with each as every spex does, she does not have the ones drawn to her that would bring her to be one of the ones that are part of them all in a way that comes together to create a storm, I knew that by how she answered. However, the one that she is drawn to and is connected to now that is very much her, from what I have observed, there are interesting things for her to be gifted with once she learns more of herself and the clan,if she wishes to learn of things I will give answers but I wont overstep any boundaries as I know Fonce is her mentor.
Perhaps they will learn the meaning of the elements together, that would be an interesting night of education,one that I would actually enjoy and in the process that they might learn that fire is more than a flame, and water is more than a liquid substance just as air is more than just the moving of the winds, within each of them there is an attribute that we draw on and a single thing bound to each of them. There is so much each of them that I see in the elements they spoke of, I see the strength of the elements in them. One day they may seek me out to understand all aspects of these things, when they do all else will come easier to them for in everyday life we use all the elements separately. Noelani I have yet to see what she chooses, however I have always thought and still think Fonce may yet be the next one that is a part of all elements in the literal sense and I have spoken to the other elders , and I had confirmation by the answer to my question. I find out things by simple means. Perhaps the next storm he may be ready. But as always we watch for now to see how things turn out for each of them in all aspects of their life.
This trail has revealed so much of people so far, the web of life is weaving and entwining connecting each of us to each other on some level . So it is the way of the people of the plains to be connected to each other, so that together we stand strong and proud. There is no one person above another. There is no one person better than another.
To remain strong we must remain true to our ways to teach the young why the grass and water is important, why the bosk is revered, why we do not pick the grass, why it is important to a warrior to earn his name and the importance of never taking a warriors name in vain or abuse it, why it is important to earn the scar of courage, why a free woman earns her nose ring and when, and so many other things that make the life of a tuchuk the life of a tuchuk. This is the responsibility of all of us to ensure we remain strong by teaching and guiding, and to keep the taint of the dwellers from the plains and to keep it wild, free and untamable just like the tuchuk free woman that a warrior mates.
We are more than we appear.
We know more than we reveal
We Tuchuks know of many things..... .......... of more than we tell." Nomads of Gor pg 344
