It was early morning when I decided to get out of my furs, I had been awake for many ahns, I had forgotten what it was like to sleep alone, I cant say that I really like it, it will take time to get used to it, there is no warmth around me to let me know that I am needed and protected, there is no quiet strength to calm me and keep the dreams and visions from coming in at a speed and intensity that keeps me awake. I find myself tossing and turning, getting up and going for a walk at odd times of the night. During the day is not as hard, it is the night that is the hardest . Eventually I will get used to it, I always do.
I had been out hunting with Chay for a while, one thing about her is that she sees only in black and white so to speak, there is no complications of a mixture of grey or colors. There are times I wish I were like that, but yet I am glad I am not. Even she will say that she wishes she understood the complexities of people more, it would help her to be understanding, and she is the first to admit she isn't, she takes things as they are almost in a literal sense. She lives by the laws of survival, it is or it isn't, there is no in between, only life and death. Hunter or the prey. I had learned a lot from her over the turnings, and this morning it was nice just to do something that required no explanations, no forced smiles. We rode for some time, I am a bit rusty in some things and she enjoyed harassing me about it, her sense of humor is sometimes quite interesting. But I know her and knew it was not meant in a way to be hurtful, it was simply her. And I am glad she is the way she is. Because it allowed me to give it back to her without fear of being taken wrong. The hunt was a nice diversion, as well as productive, we had enough to give to others who might need it and I had enough for myself as well, and a few hides to work on. My hands and mind would be kept busy. Her two children are growing up fast , I can see both my father and her in them the youngest girl, she is going to be a heartbreaker and I can see it will take a unique type of man to handle her when she grows up into a woman, she not only has many of Chays ways, which is kind of spooky as you watch her it is like a mini Chay, but it is tempered with a softness Chay does not have, and I see that logic of my father and that stubbornness of her. It should prove interesting to see how she grows up. Just as it will be interesting to see Cana and Ba'atars girls grow up. To see which parts of them are blended into them. The younger generations of warriors I see are going to be up against some beautiful, stubborn and intelligent women in the future. I hope I get to see what each of these young ones become.
I was cleaning a fresh hide when Hallie arrived, I could see she had been out in the kailla pens just from the look of her and she was grinning from ear to ear, something had happened and from her expression I could see that it was something she was very proud of. I waited to see what she had to say, knowing that she was just bursting to tell her story. So I cleaned my hands off and sat down on one of the steps, where she joined me. She began to tell me of how she had been helping with one of the kaiila that had been wounded, she found out that it was a favorite one of the warrior that rode him,it brought him luck, at least in his mind he felt this and this is something important to a person. She and Cana had not sure that the kailla would survive because he was so badly hurt. I could see the pride in her eyes as she spoke of how she helped to take care of him, she was animated and I had to smile as I watched her. It is hard to believe she has grown up into such a beautiful, secure and confident young woman. It seemed like just yesterday she was this tiny baby in my arms. She enjoys what she does and it shows. She told me of how she sat with the kailla for many ahns taking care of him. Now I do not know what all she did but I could see she was proud of herself. She got so excited as she spoke of how this morning he got up and was walking around, granted slowly but still moving better and was eating. She felt that he was going to be alright, and she spoke of how the warrior looked when he came to check on him, I think that it was the look of relief and joy of the warrior that really made her feel that she did something wonderful. I think now she understands the rewards of following your heart and doing what you enjoy. She hugged me and kissed my cheek she was off to find Cana so she could tell her what happened, I knew that Cana would be very proud of her. She taught her well and now it was beginning to show.
I smiled as I watched her, she was going to be alright, she knew that she had me and others here for her for anything she needed or wanted. I am glad that something good has occurred it aides in walking thru the difficult times of life.
I cleaned up a bit and went to check on some of the warriors that had been riding with Garyx,to see how they were doing, I had no doubt the healers were taking great care of them, but many of them had often spent time at my fires so I knew them. I wanted to make sure they were doing well and not blaming themselves for what happened. Men sometimes get strange ideas in their heads.
There is nothing we can do about fate, what is meant to happen will happen. And once more my own path is set upon a new course in life, what it holds, well, that I do not yet know. Time will reveal what will come my way.
I had been out hunting with Chay for a while, one thing about her is that she sees only in black and white so to speak, there is no complications of a mixture of grey or colors. There are times I wish I were like that, but yet I am glad I am not. Even she will say that she wishes she understood the complexities of people more, it would help her to be understanding, and she is the first to admit she isn't, she takes things as they are almost in a literal sense. She lives by the laws of survival, it is or it isn't, there is no in between, only life and death. Hunter or the prey. I had learned a lot from her over the turnings, and this morning it was nice just to do something that required no explanations, no forced smiles. We rode for some time, I am a bit rusty in some things and she enjoyed harassing me about it, her sense of humor is sometimes quite interesting. But I know her and knew it was not meant in a way to be hurtful, it was simply her. And I am glad she is the way she is. Because it allowed me to give it back to her without fear of being taken wrong. The hunt was a nice diversion, as well as productive, we had enough to give to others who might need it and I had enough for myself as well, and a few hides to work on. My hands and mind would be kept busy. Her two children are growing up fast , I can see both my father and her in them the youngest girl, she is going to be a heartbreaker and I can see it will take a unique type of man to handle her when she grows up into a woman, she not only has many of Chays ways, which is kind of spooky as you watch her it is like a mini Chay, but it is tempered with a softness Chay does not have, and I see that logic of my father and that stubbornness of her. It should prove interesting to see how she grows up. Just as it will be interesting to see Cana and Ba'atars girls grow up. To see which parts of them are blended into them. The younger generations of warriors I see are going to be up against some beautiful, stubborn and intelligent women in the future. I hope I get to see what each of these young ones become.
I was cleaning a fresh hide when Hallie arrived, I could see she had been out in the kailla pens just from the look of her and she was grinning from ear to ear, something had happened and from her expression I could see that it was something she was very proud of. I waited to see what she had to say, knowing that she was just bursting to tell her story. So I cleaned my hands off and sat down on one of the steps, where she joined me. She began to tell me of how she had been helping with one of the kaiila that had been wounded, she found out that it was a favorite one of the warrior that rode him,it brought him luck, at least in his mind he felt this and this is something important to a person. She and Cana had not sure that the kailla would survive because he was so badly hurt. I could see the pride in her eyes as she spoke of how she helped to take care of him, she was animated and I had to smile as I watched her. It is hard to believe she has grown up into such a beautiful, secure and confident young woman. It seemed like just yesterday she was this tiny baby in my arms. She enjoys what she does and it shows. She told me of how she sat with the kailla for many ahns taking care of him. Now I do not know what all she did but I could see she was proud of herself. She got so excited as she spoke of how this morning he got up and was walking around, granted slowly but still moving better and was eating. She felt that he was going to be alright, and she spoke of how the warrior looked when he came to check on him, I think that it was the look of relief and joy of the warrior that really made her feel that she did something wonderful. I think now she understands the rewards of following your heart and doing what you enjoy. She hugged me and kissed my cheek she was off to find Cana so she could tell her what happened, I knew that Cana would be very proud of her. She taught her well and now it was beginning to show.
I smiled as I watched her, she was going to be alright, she knew that she had me and others here for her for anything she needed or wanted. I am glad that something good has occurred it aides in walking thru the difficult times of life.
I cleaned up a bit and went to check on some of the warriors that had been riding with Garyx,to see how they were doing, I had no doubt the healers were taking great care of them, but many of them had often spent time at my fires so I knew them. I wanted to make sure they were doing well and not blaming themselves for what happened. Men sometimes get strange ideas in their heads.
There is nothing we can do about fate, what is meant to happen will happen. And once more my own path is set upon a new course in life, what it holds, well, that I do not yet know. Time will reveal what will come my way.
