Hallie was driving me insane with her chitter chatter, I am not sure if it was because she was making no sense or if it was because it was non stop finally I had yell at her to be silent. It is rare when I have to raise my voice with any of my children usually a look suffices. But today she was wound up and spinning out of control I swear someone filled her with a kettle full of black wine or gave he some herb. She looked at me strangely not used to my voice raising. She had nothing really she wanted to talk of she was just talking to hear herself and that is something I do not particularly care for from anyone.
My head was throbbing today and she was making it worse finally I sent her off to do chores the skies knew she had enough of them to do and if she didn't I could find her some. Once she left and I had some peace and quiet and went to the stream and sat on the embankment listening to the gently rushing of the water. The ride over the plains did little to clear my mind and there was also the wondering of what was out there lingering and finally I said the hell with it I was going riding. I did not take mist runner out instead I took the one that Tengfei gifted me with time to see what he could do. He as dark as night and it suited me at the moment. The other one that Ba'atar gave me Hallie has been working with along with Cana to train him, if she does as anticipated then I will allow her to keep the temperamental beast. But time will tell, the cool air was like pieces of glass cutting into my flesh stimulating my senses and I needed that, I needed to clear my mind.
I knew my temper could get the better of me at times if I allowed it,and I found alternate ways to release it. There were times I could get madder than a wet vulo with its head cut of and want to strip the flesh from someone but I rarely hold it long. There are only a few outside of my blood family that have the ability to truly tick me off, and the reasons are simple because I care. Otherwise they would have no effect on me. Take Cana for example it is not often she can truly piss me off, but once in a while she does and when she does I just want to spit fire and let loose on her, not that I ever do to that effect I couldn't subject her to my temper like that. I think sometimes that is good for me as it takes me back a step as well as her that neither of us are perfect and when all is said and done even when irritated it never changes how I feel or see her. Although I am certain at times she may think otherwise. Just like with Ba'atar there are times I want to separate his head from his shoulders but ultimately it doesn't change that I care no matter how angry I get. That is the beauty of family and friends it doesn't change no matter how angry you get.
Its usually when you don't get a response that I probably could care less or you aren't that important to me, or if I am silent of something it is because I am truly ticked.
It is the same with prospects some I will intentionally push and push and be harsh with, usually because I see something they do not, and either I want to have it revealed or for them to grasp it and grow from it, or in it is the ones that I do not waste my time with that I see nothing worth my energy with. My ways and thoughts often piss people off, and for some I have tried to hold my tongue and crawl over glass in order to have their friendship, but in the end I can only be me and I can be accepted for me or I cant it is up to the person.
If it was worthwhile it is still there, if it wasn't then it isn't.. That is the way of life.
My head was throbbing today and she was making it worse finally I sent her off to do chores the skies knew she had enough of them to do and if she didn't I could find her some. Once she left and I had some peace and quiet and went to the stream and sat on the embankment listening to the gently rushing of the water. The ride over the plains did little to clear my mind and there was also the wondering of what was out there lingering and finally I said the hell with it I was going riding. I did not take mist runner out instead I took the one that Tengfei gifted me with time to see what he could do. He as dark as night and it suited me at the moment. The other one that Ba'atar gave me Hallie has been working with along with Cana to train him, if she does as anticipated then I will allow her to keep the temperamental beast. But time will tell, the cool air was like pieces of glass cutting into my flesh stimulating my senses and I needed that, I needed to clear my mind.
I knew my temper could get the better of me at times if I allowed it,and I found alternate ways to release it. There were times I could get madder than a wet vulo with its head cut of and want to strip the flesh from someone but I rarely hold it long. There are only a few outside of my blood family that have the ability to truly tick me off, and the reasons are simple because I care. Otherwise they would have no effect on me. Take Cana for example it is not often she can truly piss me off, but once in a while she does and when she does I just want to spit fire and let loose on her, not that I ever do to that effect I couldn't subject her to my temper like that. I think sometimes that is good for me as it takes me back a step as well as her that neither of us are perfect and when all is said and done even when irritated it never changes how I feel or see her. Although I am certain at times she may think otherwise. Just like with Ba'atar there are times I want to separate his head from his shoulders but ultimately it doesn't change that I care no matter how angry I get. That is the beauty of family and friends it doesn't change no matter how angry you get.
Its usually when you don't get a response that I probably could care less or you aren't that important to me, or if I am silent of something it is because I am truly ticked.
It is the same with prospects some I will intentionally push and push and be harsh with, usually because I see something they do not, and either I want to have it revealed or for them to grasp it and grow from it, or in it is the ones that I do not waste my time with that I see nothing worth my energy with. My ways and thoughts often piss people off, and for some I have tried to hold my tongue and crawl over glass in order to have their friendship, but in the end I can only be me and I can be accepted for me or I cant it is up to the person.
If it was worthwhile it is still there, if it wasn't then it isn't.. That is the way of life.
