I sat at the fires for a short time last night, mostly just to be among others, for their thoughts and words would distract me from things I really had no desire to think about, I had heard of various things and when asked of them I had no true thought which was the truth, what I felt and thought was unknown and I intended to keep it that way. Even those that knew me had no inkling of what I was thinking or feeling, simply because I chose to close a part of myself off.
Ayguili told me that I would find Arkus at my wagons, as he had spent some time with him while he scarred a young warrior. I asked how he did for his first attendance of an actual scarring and I was very pleased to hear that while he turned a bit green a time or two that he did well. He told me that Arkus asked the right questions and paid attention, this brought a smile to me. Like his uncle he would make a fine scarrer one day, it is funny how things come full circle, the skies took Lochlan from me but they seemed to allow bits of him to be reflected in others, such as Arkus and even in the warrior Ayguili, I told him how at times he had ways of Lochlan that were just down right spooky. It unnerved me at times because it is like watching him again, not in looks but in mannerisms and certain thoughts, even how he did the scarring was eerily familiar, and now Arkus also seems to share his love of the clan. It is these things I find interesting in life.
At least he has a good warrior to learn from, I do not speak of why his father does not teach him in fact I do not even mention anything of Shi. I learned long ago to not expect anything from him and I find other ways to have done what needs to be done and the tribe has always taken care of its own, and it is no different now the men teach him what he needs to know, for each one that has taught him. I hold a thanks I can not express.
The young prospect arrived at the fires again, asking her questions Cana gave her, Ayguili 's irritation with her was apparent, and he taught her a few things that she should have known coming from the outer wagons, there is concern on how close her fathers wagons seem to be at the first fires and how she still keeps returning to them, or are they in the wagon that Cana gave her, I think we all were a bit confused, though the majority of thought from the others gathered was that she was not ready to leave the outer wagons, her father either had to cut the strings and let her grow or he needed to take her back. The one thing was clear she was not mature enough to understand many things. Though she tried when it comes to stepping into her own she is no where near ready. Ayguili mentioned someone needed to talk to her father, well I wasn't going to that was a mans place and I hinted at such , he said that was Ba 'atars problem not his, but as I reminded him the Ubar cant know if he does not enlighten him, that earned me a grunt. That I did find amusing.
When I returned to the wagons, Arkus was there all beaming with pride and he couldn't wait to share it with me, he told me all about how he felt and what he learned. I suggested that maybe he should go speak with Cana and see if she still had Lochlans old supplies. Maybe she would let him borrow them. This made him beam even more and he said at first morning light he would go see her, "Besides one day she is going to be my woman." I had to laugh softly as he said his usual. He had always had an infatuation for Cana and was determined , as much as a young teenager could be that he would take her from Ba'atar, I think she will always be his first love but he is at the age where women interest him, even though he is not happy with them at the moment.
