As we ride my thoughts drift to my daughter Falon. I do not interfere in her choices or life often Once in a while of course I do. But in a way that is guiding not telling her what to do. I have taught her to be self reliant and independent. To always follow her heart even when the price we pay is steep. Sometimes it is worth it.
I know that she is troubled over things that transpired between her and Cana, particularly how even I witnessed her putting a prospect healer over a tribal one in front of her, I have to wonder why she would slap her in the face and insult her like that when at one time she claimed her as a close friend, was it because of my son that these bonds were there and were they cut once he died. I am troubled over this. Not as a mother but as a tribal member and yes also as a mother if I own up to it. Cana all but ignored the fact that Falon was there and a healer and proceeded to treat Kaeli as if she were not only tribe but a skilled elder of the tribe, I know Falon is deeply hurt, but I do not interfere yet. I know that she can handle things herself.
I am just somewhat perplexed by this. I like Kaeli she has shown much, but she does not have the skill and experience that some think. She is learning much. But it isn't my clan, and I am just an old woman around here. The way I hear it I am soon to be replaced myself, I wonder do they put old spex's out to pasture like they do kaillas. I suppose the more gentler, delicate, wispy ways are the flavor of the turning. Yes, I know my temper is starting to surface as I work thru my thoughts. But I think I am more disappointed than anything, as I noticed the sudden cold shoulder from Cana at the fires the other night. Why I do not know, I sure did not do anything to her. Although I was made aware of words spoken at the fires the other night.
Now, I do not know why Ba 'atar told her she needed to find a mate, he could have been serious or teasing, I was not there so I can not say. So you know that can be taken with a grain of salt, I believe he was teasing. But that is just my thought on it, I think though w hat really set her off was her interpretation of Cana's words, these have caused her a greater hurt than was realized and I do not think was done with malice or intent to hurt. Although Cana has yet to realize that not everyone in life needs a mate to feel complete. When it is time the skies will bring the warrior capable of holding her heart. I also think she forgets that Fonce broke Falon's hurt, his actions devastated and hurt her in a way that no one else has, her trust in men is gone. She loved him and offered her heart and soul to him, but he constantly tore it down and put obstacles in front of her that no one could overcome,
She never faltered in her heart, she never wavered but I think the true wound came when he mated Tzuri after enslaving her and then seeing her continue to not act as a tuchuk even after becoming Ubara. That is a lot of pain for a heart to bear. It takes time to rebuild and heal that. Falon is like me in that respect it takes a long time to get over it and on some levels we never do.
I know that she is troubled over things that transpired between her and Cana, particularly how even I witnessed her putting a prospect healer over a tribal one in front of her, I have to wonder why she would slap her in the face and insult her like that when at one time she claimed her as a close friend, was it because of my son that these bonds were there and were they cut once he died. I am troubled over this. Not as a mother but as a tribal member and yes also as a mother if I own up to it. Cana all but ignored the fact that Falon was there and a healer and proceeded to treat Kaeli as if she were not only tribe but a skilled elder of the tribe, I know Falon is deeply hurt, but I do not interfere yet. I know that she can handle things herself.
I am just somewhat perplexed by this. I like Kaeli she has shown much, but she does not have the skill and experience that some think. She is learning much. But it isn't my clan, and I am just an old woman around here. The way I hear it I am soon to be replaced myself, I wonder do they put old spex's out to pasture like they do kaillas. I suppose the more gentler, delicate, wispy ways are the flavor of the turning. Yes, I know my temper is starting to surface as I work thru my thoughts. But I think I am more disappointed than anything, as I noticed the sudden cold shoulder from Cana at the fires the other night. Why I do not know, I sure did not do anything to her. Although I was made aware of words spoken at the fires the other night.
Now, I do not know why Ba 'atar told her she needed to find a mate, he could have been serious or teasing, I was not there so I can not say. So you know that can be taken with a grain of salt, I believe he was teasing. But that is just my thought on it, I think though w hat really set her off was her interpretation of Cana's words, these have caused her a greater hurt than was realized and I do not think was done with malice or intent to hurt. Although Cana has yet to realize that not everyone in life needs a mate to feel complete. When it is time the skies will bring the warrior capable of holding her heart. I also think she forgets that Fonce broke Falon's hurt, his actions devastated and hurt her in a way that no one else has, her trust in men is gone. She loved him and offered her heart and soul to him, but he constantly tore it down and put obstacles in front of her that no one could overcome,
She never faltered in her heart, she never wavered but I think the true wound came when he mated Tzuri after enslaving her and then seeing her continue to not act as a tuchuk even after becoming Ubara. That is a lot of pain for a heart to bear. It takes time to rebuild and heal that. Falon is like me in that respect it takes a long time to get over it and on some levels we never do.
