Everything had finally been completed for Seveya's ceremony, I had her a few nights ago gather stones and paint them, I had told her to paint them with whatever she felt should go on them, a color, a design anything. I did not tell her why. The reason I had her do this was she picked stones that captured her attention, they are of the plains and they have their own unique strength and character.She would be giving these to others after the ceremony, in a sense she was giving a part of herself to others, I am not sure how many would appreciate it or understand it, and it did not matter if they did or did not. It was the fact that she gave of herself for it that mattered.
As the evening neared for it to begin I had moved about and set up everything on the stone altar and lit the torches, all the women had been busy preparing various types of food for the ceremony, lots of black wine and paga for the men. I sat for a while at the main fires, I had requested that Seveya and Cana meet me at my wagons before the ceremony and also requested Mezoo also, I had a task for her to do and while it may not seem like much to others, for her it would have meaning, and I hope that she would understand. I was having her take the bowl of oil from my wagon to the altar. I knew by how she held it that she understood and I smiled to myself. I had my reasons for this just as I did for each part I gave various women.
Eventually I would bathe and dress, I slipped on a simple white skirt I had with a matching vest, I was brushing my hair out within the privacy of my wagon, I rarely wore a skirt and my thoughts lingered on the last time I did, and why I did, thankfully my thoughts were interrupted before I could get to lost in them and awaken things that are better left asleep. " Why Tarra such scandalous thoughts," those words were followed by a laugh from Bolormaa. I looked to her and I swear I felt about ten times warmer than I should. "Wouldn't you like to know." I would toss back at her knowing full well she did not know what was in my mind, "From the expression you had, yes I would, and I bet it has to do with a man." I knew I could not school my expression or my eyes fast enough to deny what she said, and she would give a knowing laugh, she wasn't using any skill of a spex just the simple power of observation. "You should have those thoughts more often it is rather becoming," I tossed a pillow at her. To which she only laughed, "Such thoughts have no place in my life right now." I stated trying to redirect my focus and she was not helping as she sat behind me and began to braid my hair. " Such nonsense my dear one, there is always a place for such and you need to remember what you would tell others. You are allowed to look again and live again completely " She would gently chide me. I merely shook my head, "That is for the young I have had my chance for such things. I cannot go thru it again," I would whisper, no one knew of the tears I cried in the dark of the night from the pain and heartache that was there. No one knew just how deeply I hurt, I hide things very well, to many I am fine, I am strong , I am able to take care of myself. But in truth, I am not fine, I am not strong and I am failing in many things in my own private arena of hell. But I will not reveal this to her or any one else, I simply will do what I need to do in order to get thru each day. I would be there to lend a helping hand or shoulder, to listen and guide, it was what I do and who I am. Each day I push back the fears of the night and reground myself so that I can be what I need to be. The needs of others, outweigh my own. And there were a few I was concerned with at the moment and one I was worried of. These women I have grown to care of and I tend to be protective of those I care of. And at the moment things in the air were a grateful distraction to me.
Though each day gets a little easier.
I would listen as she spoke weaving the intricate braiding that was often worn by the elders of the clan, the beads creating a complex design. Once that was done I was surprised as she placed an array of herlit feathers along the side of my braid, and I lifted a brow, everyone knew I liked to keep things of myself simple, things around me simple. And I wished to remain understated because this was a night for Seveya. Bolormaa would just smile, "I know how you are, I knew you would not wear the headdress for this event, some like to be elaborate and flamboyant, you are like your mother and grandmother, you like to keep it simple and personal, but you are an elder and you must at times attire yourself in certain regalia as one." I nearly rolled my eyes at that but out of respect for her I did not, I knew the other elder women of the clan would each have something similar. I thanked her for my help and she teased me about the skirt,I told her not to get used to it, No one would be seeing it outside of the ceremony because I was changing before I went to the main fires. She threatened to send word to various warriors so that they could catch me in one. Now she was treading on thin ice. And that look in her eye meant she was up to something and that usually meant she had someone hoodwinked into being her cohort in crime.
Soon I was joined by Seveya, she looked absolutely beautiful and the skirt fit her perfectly enhancing her beauty and she was radiant as the excitement of what was coming danced about her, I had her sit with me and gave her a special drink I had prepared, what it was I did not reveal, only that it would help relax her for the night, I noticed the bone combs and smiled, as I touched one I knew who they belonged to and it was perfect for her to have her mother with us in spirit, I think she would be very proud of her this night, as we talked I placed a single feather in her hair for guidance and strength, Mezoo joined us and we sat and talked of various things, it was nice to sit and relax and enjoy the company of them. Cana also joined us and she placed a shell along her hair line to symbolize the change that was about to come forth. The air held laughter and comfort, an ease of conversation and companionship.
Soon I left them to go and gather many of the other women to take their places, Mezoo would place the bowl of oil on the altar, then she and Cana would ensure that the women had the sage lit in the bowls so that the air could hold the fragrance of it and let the smoke circulate to form a heavy mantle that obscured and revealed, the air held the songs of the women as they began to sing various songs, the drums would thunder in the night in rhythm with the songs, the singers would harmonize in the background, for this night it was the women that were in the forefront of things, it was them who would guide and nurture, it was the women who were the life givers, the strength beside and behind the men, women were the care givers and an integral part of the tribes life and heartbeat.
It was time. . .
As the evening neared for it to begin I had moved about and set up everything on the stone altar and lit the torches, all the women had been busy preparing various types of food for the ceremony, lots of black wine and paga for the men. I sat for a while at the main fires, I had requested that Seveya and Cana meet me at my wagons before the ceremony and also requested Mezoo also, I had a task for her to do and while it may not seem like much to others, for her it would have meaning, and I hope that she would understand. I was having her take the bowl of oil from my wagon to the altar. I knew by how she held it that she understood and I smiled to myself. I had my reasons for this just as I did for each part I gave various women.
Eventually I would bathe and dress, I slipped on a simple white skirt I had with a matching vest, I was brushing my hair out within the privacy of my wagon, I rarely wore a skirt and my thoughts lingered on the last time I did, and why I did, thankfully my thoughts were interrupted before I could get to lost in them and awaken things that are better left asleep. " Why Tarra such scandalous thoughts," those words were followed by a laugh from Bolormaa. I looked to her and I swear I felt about ten times warmer than I should. "Wouldn't you like to know." I would toss back at her knowing full well she did not know what was in my mind, "From the expression you had, yes I would, and I bet it has to do with a man." I knew I could not school my expression or my eyes fast enough to deny what she said, and she would give a knowing laugh, she wasn't using any skill of a spex just the simple power of observation. "You should have those thoughts more often it is rather becoming," I tossed a pillow at her. To which she only laughed, "Such thoughts have no place in my life right now." I stated trying to redirect my focus and she was not helping as she sat behind me and began to braid my hair. " Such nonsense my dear one, there is always a place for such and you need to remember what you would tell others. You are allowed to look again and live again completely " She would gently chide me. I merely shook my head, "That is for the young I have had my chance for such things. I cannot go thru it again," I would whisper, no one knew of the tears I cried in the dark of the night from the pain and heartache that was there. No one knew just how deeply I hurt, I hide things very well, to many I am fine, I am strong , I am able to take care of myself. But in truth, I am not fine, I am not strong and I am failing in many things in my own private arena of hell. But I will not reveal this to her or any one else, I simply will do what I need to do in order to get thru each day. I would be there to lend a helping hand or shoulder, to listen and guide, it was what I do and who I am. Each day I push back the fears of the night and reground myself so that I can be what I need to be. The needs of others, outweigh my own. And there were a few I was concerned with at the moment and one I was worried of. These women I have grown to care of and I tend to be protective of those I care of. And at the moment things in the air were a grateful distraction to me.
Though each day gets a little easier.
I would listen as she spoke weaving the intricate braiding that was often worn by the elders of the clan, the beads creating a complex design. Once that was done I was surprised as she placed an array of herlit feathers along the side of my braid, and I lifted a brow, everyone knew I liked to keep things of myself simple, things around me simple. And I wished to remain understated because this was a night for Seveya. Bolormaa would just smile, "I know how you are, I knew you would not wear the headdress for this event, some like to be elaborate and flamboyant, you are like your mother and grandmother, you like to keep it simple and personal, but you are an elder and you must at times attire yourself in certain regalia as one." I nearly rolled my eyes at that but out of respect for her I did not, I knew the other elder women of the clan would each have something similar. I thanked her for my help and she teased me about the skirt,I told her not to get used to it, No one would be seeing it outside of the ceremony because I was changing before I went to the main fires. She threatened to send word to various warriors so that they could catch me in one. Now she was treading on thin ice. And that look in her eye meant she was up to something and that usually meant she had someone hoodwinked into being her cohort in crime.
Soon I was joined by Seveya, she looked absolutely beautiful and the skirt fit her perfectly enhancing her beauty and she was radiant as the excitement of what was coming danced about her, I had her sit with me and gave her a special drink I had prepared, what it was I did not reveal, only that it would help relax her for the night, I noticed the bone combs and smiled, as I touched one I knew who they belonged to and it was perfect for her to have her mother with us in spirit, I think she would be very proud of her this night, as we talked I placed a single feather in her hair for guidance and strength, Mezoo joined us and we sat and talked of various things, it was nice to sit and relax and enjoy the company of them. Cana also joined us and she placed a shell along her hair line to symbolize the change that was about to come forth. The air held laughter and comfort, an ease of conversation and companionship.
Soon I left them to go and gather many of the other women to take their places, Mezoo would place the bowl of oil on the altar, then she and Cana would ensure that the women had the sage lit in the bowls so that the air could hold the fragrance of it and let the smoke circulate to form a heavy mantle that obscured and revealed, the air held the songs of the women as they began to sing various songs, the drums would thunder in the night in rhythm with the songs, the singers would harmonize in the background, for this night it was the women that were in the forefront of things, it was them who would guide and nurture, it was the women who were the life givers, the strength beside and behind the men, women were the care givers and an integral part of the tribes life and heartbeat.
It was time. . .
