Was it the pain of my son that kept me pacing around the circle of my wagons thru the night, or was it that old familiar restlessness pulling at me. I am careful as a rule to keep myself shielded from the onslaught of emotion by people. I felt a presence of late, something undefinable, it was not dark yet it was not light.
It was just there as if waiting and beckoning at the same time and yet in a different nuance it was pushing and obstructing and fighting to be free. What was this that I felt enveloping me, familiar yet unfamiliar, warm and yet cold, gentle and yet biting. I could not quite figure it out.
"You know." Was whispered within my head, yet it was not one voice it was many.
I know? I would ask myself, what is it I am supposed to know but yet clearly I do not.
"Yes, you do. " was stated once more only with more power behind it, it sounded louder as if it were echoing inside of my head.
Now, I was not going to stand here and argue with voices inside my head, even I would have to wonder if I wasn't going looney tunes then. I drew in a slow breath and walked once more around the circle. When I felt a sudden warmth of something rush thru me, as if something or someone passed thru me, I knew I was not channeling as I never do such alone and I was not working on doing it, not that I did it often I think the last time I did, was for Cana when Tayco died.
"Really Tarra you are going to wear a hole in the ground with all that pacing, still yourself already white larl."
Okay, now that got my attention. I know exactly who that sounded like, and I was going insane. But yet, there was a part of me that wondered, what was going on or better yet why was it going on, I was not even doing anything related to the clan. I haven't for some time, I had to rub my head for a moment, maybe the lack of sleep was affecting my mind, the youngest sons emotions had drained me in a way I have not felt in a while, maybe that to was affecting, but he had needed to release them so he could move onward. I think he will find himself feeling better. Arkus has decided to take him under his wing during the journey to Turia. Many are excited about this trip, I can not say I am, I am not a big fan of going near the city. I am even less of a fan of mixing with dwellers. I do not think I get as excited of these things as I once did, I have seen far to many of them, but I do remember the excitement of them when I was young. So I can see and understand the sense of exhilration many feel. I will have to look for Symira, she is the one I often deal with for trading of spices, herbs and other things, not to mention she is one of the few that I can call freind, even if she is a dweller. But she knows how I think and feel so she does not take exception to it. We owe each other a debt of blood. That has meaning and I honor it.
Silence, this was good, now to contemplate the words spoken. Without warning there was a flash of past visions when with the ancient one, once more the warrior that killed me twice appeared. Oh no, was I going to die again, I was getting rather tired of those visions, as I really hated getting killed in each one. I still was not sure what they all had meant, for as much as I learned and gained with the ancient one, I also left with many unanswered questions and thoughts.
This time he was just standing there,he held no weapon and he had nothing predatory about him, but I was no fool, I knew to be cautious. I did not fear him, I never have. In his hand he held a large opal, but yet between us I saw a fence or wall of some sort. My mind drifted thru the symbolism that was before me and before I could speak the vision was gone.
I had to blink for a moment as I looked around, nothing was out of place, now why was something or someone suddenly pushing very hard for me to see something. I decided to go lay down for a while to contemplate these things.
" You know." was whispered again, I could hear thousands of voices in that one voice.
"Just look and allow it to be shared." Was offered to me in an almost sing song type of voice, I could see once more something floating around me, almost as if a living ribbon were twirling and twisting about me, the silver white strands that floated outward reminded me of pale strands of moonlight, shimmering and illuminating everything, it would wrap about me as if it sought to be a part of me, there were so many familiar scents and tones within it, as if there were many I knew from present and past and even though there were some I did not recognize it was as if I did. Strange.. but then again not really, I knew it was the collective energy of the voices, the spirits and vibrations of those that spoke, letting me feel their presence. As if to let me know that I really did hear them, I was not loosing my mind.
Then just as fast as they came they were gone.
" Soon." was all they left me with.
They had to be men, only men left you wanting for more and then just stopped and walked away. Well, okay I suppose women were in there to, because women were known to do the same teasing seductive dance.
Great, leave it to me to have such a thought, now either I would not sleep at all, or the dreams would be very erotic, either way, it was going to be a long night.
It was just there as if waiting and beckoning at the same time and yet in a different nuance it was pushing and obstructing and fighting to be free. What was this that I felt enveloping me, familiar yet unfamiliar, warm and yet cold, gentle and yet biting. I could not quite figure it out.
"You know." Was whispered within my head, yet it was not one voice it was many.
I know? I would ask myself, what is it I am supposed to know but yet clearly I do not.
"Yes, you do. " was stated once more only with more power behind it, it sounded louder as if it were echoing inside of my head.
Now, I was not going to stand here and argue with voices inside my head, even I would have to wonder if I wasn't going looney tunes then. I drew in a slow breath and walked once more around the circle. When I felt a sudden warmth of something rush thru me, as if something or someone passed thru me, I knew I was not channeling as I never do such alone and I was not working on doing it, not that I did it often I think the last time I did, was for Cana when Tayco died.
"Really Tarra you are going to wear a hole in the ground with all that pacing, still yourself already white larl."
Okay, now that got my attention. I know exactly who that sounded like, and I was going insane. But yet, there was a part of me that wondered, what was going on or better yet why was it going on, I was not even doing anything related to the clan. I haven't for some time, I had to rub my head for a moment, maybe the lack of sleep was affecting my mind, the youngest sons emotions had drained me in a way I have not felt in a while, maybe that to was affecting, but he had needed to release them so he could move onward. I think he will find himself feeling better. Arkus has decided to take him under his wing during the journey to Turia. Many are excited about this trip, I can not say I am, I am not a big fan of going near the city. I am even less of a fan of mixing with dwellers. I do not think I get as excited of these things as I once did, I have seen far to many of them, but I do remember the excitement of them when I was young. So I can see and understand the sense of exhilration many feel. I will have to look for Symira, she is the one I often deal with for trading of spices, herbs and other things, not to mention she is one of the few that I can call freind, even if she is a dweller. But she knows how I think and feel so she does not take exception to it. We owe each other a debt of blood. That has meaning and I honor it.
Silence, this was good, now to contemplate the words spoken. Without warning there was a flash of past visions when with the ancient one, once more the warrior that killed me twice appeared. Oh no, was I going to die again, I was getting rather tired of those visions, as I really hated getting killed in each one. I still was not sure what they all had meant, for as much as I learned and gained with the ancient one, I also left with many unanswered questions and thoughts.
This time he was just standing there,he held no weapon and he had nothing predatory about him, but I was no fool, I knew to be cautious. I did not fear him, I never have. In his hand he held a large opal, but yet between us I saw a fence or wall of some sort. My mind drifted thru the symbolism that was before me and before I could speak the vision was gone.
I had to blink for a moment as I looked around, nothing was out of place, now why was something or someone suddenly pushing very hard for me to see something. I decided to go lay down for a while to contemplate these things.
" You know." was whispered again, I could hear thousands of voices in that one voice.
"Just look and allow it to be shared." Was offered to me in an almost sing song type of voice, I could see once more something floating around me, almost as if a living ribbon were twirling and twisting about me, the silver white strands that floated outward reminded me of pale strands of moonlight, shimmering and illuminating everything, it would wrap about me as if it sought to be a part of me, there were so many familiar scents and tones within it, as if there were many I knew from present and past and even though there were some I did not recognize it was as if I did. Strange.. but then again not really, I knew it was the collective energy of the voices, the spirits and vibrations of those that spoke, letting me feel their presence. As if to let me know that I really did hear them, I was not loosing my mind.
Then just as fast as they came they were gone.
" Soon." was all they left me with.
They had to be men, only men left you wanting for more and then just stopped and walked away. Well, okay I suppose women were in there to, because women were known to do the same teasing seductive dance.
Great, leave it to me to have such a thought, now either I would not sleep at all, or the dreams would be very erotic, either way, it was going to be a long night.
Still in my mind it was just bosk shit, I had no intention of searching for the meaning and answers.
Then I felt a nudge as I entered my wagon, " You of all people know you can't change who you are or what you are." I just shook my head, at this point I really was in no mood to listen. So I shut out the voices, but damn if certain images did not keep bursting into my head, yes, it was going to be a long night, and maybe even a few trips to the stream.
