There is a chill in the air,one that is colder than usual for this time of year. What we saw is coming to pass. But I keep it to myself. There is much lingering in the air lately. Things that make me wonder of people.
Out of all the prospects I can honestly say only one is around to make an effort and she works on it with the determination of a Tuchuk woman.
I think Kaeli may yet prove herself. But I am not completely certain, there will be additional tests, ones designed to test honor and trust. Ones she will not realize are even being done. This will reveal much.
Everyone has been busy preparing for the move, when it will come has not yet been shown, but this journey there will not be half moving and half moving later,people chose to ignore the warning of the Haruspex and yet they think we don't know the whispers and words spoken because we refused to move until it was shown to do so. We heard but we chose to ignore it as most were from slaves who really had no clue and of course we found it amusing they though to delve into our affairs. Needless to say they did not live long. A lesson to others.
As I sit here at my wagons it has been a few days since I have written, some things I wanted to write but they elude me at the moment, perhaps it is everything that has occurred. I find myself perplexed and left a bit confused and saddened. I watched as father went to carry out the Ubars orders, now this would seem like a no brainer that such orders be carried out. But, it was anything but simple, in fact what I saw just made me shake my head in surprise and made my heart heavy.
I watched as Polunu attempted to stop father from collaring Sakmeta at the Ubars orders by saying she was his slave, now someone is lying, Either he was to protect her and then I have to ask why, did he forget about the mate he had, that had been pregnant with a child, did he not realize he has been gone for over an en'var. Did his injuries addle his brain, no , they hadn't for he was quite clear in his words and actions, which were designed to provoke reaction, this is what perplexes me because I have always liked the salt hunter, I have always seen him act with honor, but yet, what I was watching tonight was not. Throwing insults to the second in command but publicly going against the Ubar and bestowing remarks that would unman any warrior near. I just do not understand, and it saddens me to have watched it. We may not always agree with the Ubar, but does it not make sense to accept what he orders then when you see him request to speak of it somewhere else. Instead of at the main fires make a spectacle and speak as if you were some dweller of the city. I was of the thought it was something that could have been resolved, but Polunu seemed to be over reacting over a woman not his mate, and worse if she was owned by him now, over a woman who is but property. As for Sakmeta, I am not sure if she was lying or not, when she returned she clearly acted and spoke as a free woman, her own words revealed she was no slave, or was she lying and impersonated a free woman which then would have cost her not only freedom but possibly her own life. And she sat there watching Polunu make a fool of himself, for her. Why I have to wonder, she left without word to anyone, yet claims she did, Fonce I know was a stickler for the drummers giving word and his commanders always knew who was coming and leaving. I remember Saresh getting whipped by Bo for leaving to go look for Eva, I remember the order that decreed by Fonce that Tanner was to be chained and tried if he returned after he left to find his sisters and mother. I also recall how angry Fonce was at me when I had gone to see my sister and brother, now I had his permission as I spoke to him and father both, Garyx also had permission we did this out of respect to him and to ensure he knew that tribe matters and clan matters were taken care of and arrangements made to who would cover things for us. However, he was angry at me because I forgot to let him know when I was leaving I think that is the angriest I had seen him, it was my mistake, one that was upon me to take care of, and I did, but not at the main fires to insult and dishonor not only him, but myself or my mate and family. Honor is everything to a tuchuk. So I am wondering why did Sakmeta and Polunu feel they were the exceptions to this.
I have to wonder what occurred in the city that would cause her to submit to Polunu, when she talked with Cana and I she spoke as a free woman infatuated with a warrior, and yet now it has been cast upon her this deception. In the end even other warriors could only look on in shock at the behavior, death was the only option left. I know that it was not the choice wanted, and I know that it hurt for it to have been made, father saw him as an adopted son. In the end it is tribe above all something seemingly forgotten, while he fought Kassar, the question is still in the air why did he leave tribe and clan, our warriors do not seek vision quests that is the way of the red savage, but those that seek guidance do so at the fires of the clan not off the plains and not in a city. The insult to both my father and Ba'atar was beyond what could be allowed, both Polunu and Sakmeta were killed.
I was worried of Cana her upset over it all was more than she should have had to watch, I tried to distract her and keep her from getting ill, I am not sure if I was of much help. But I did what I could. For a while after that things seemed to settle.
At least for a few ehn,
Out of all the prospects I can honestly say only one is around to make an effort and she works on it with the determination of a Tuchuk woman.
I think Kaeli may yet prove herself. But I am not completely certain, there will be additional tests, ones designed to test honor and trust. Ones she will not realize are even being done. This will reveal much.
Everyone has been busy preparing for the move, when it will come has not yet been shown, but this journey there will not be half moving and half moving later,people chose to ignore the warning of the Haruspex and yet they think we don't know the whispers and words spoken because we refused to move until it was shown to do so. We heard but we chose to ignore it as most were from slaves who really had no clue and of course we found it amusing they though to delve into our affairs. Needless to say they did not live long. A lesson to others.
As I sit here at my wagons it has been a few days since I have written, some things I wanted to write but they elude me at the moment, perhaps it is everything that has occurred. I find myself perplexed and left a bit confused and saddened. I watched as father went to carry out the Ubars orders, now this would seem like a no brainer that such orders be carried out. But, it was anything but simple, in fact what I saw just made me shake my head in surprise and made my heart heavy.
I watched as Polunu attempted to stop father from collaring Sakmeta at the Ubars orders by saying she was his slave, now someone is lying, Either he was to protect her and then I have to ask why, did he forget about the mate he had, that had been pregnant with a child, did he not realize he has been gone for over an en'var. Did his injuries addle his brain, no , they hadn't for he was quite clear in his words and actions, which were designed to provoke reaction, this is what perplexes me because I have always liked the salt hunter, I have always seen him act with honor, but yet, what I was watching tonight was not. Throwing insults to the second in command but publicly going against the Ubar and bestowing remarks that would unman any warrior near. I just do not understand, and it saddens me to have watched it. We may not always agree with the Ubar, but does it not make sense to accept what he orders then when you see him request to speak of it somewhere else. Instead of at the main fires make a spectacle and speak as if you were some dweller of the city. I was of the thought it was something that could have been resolved, but Polunu seemed to be over reacting over a woman not his mate, and worse if she was owned by him now, over a woman who is but property. As for Sakmeta, I am not sure if she was lying or not, when she returned she clearly acted and spoke as a free woman, her own words revealed she was no slave, or was she lying and impersonated a free woman which then would have cost her not only freedom but possibly her own life. And she sat there watching Polunu make a fool of himself, for her. Why I have to wonder, she left without word to anyone, yet claims she did, Fonce I know was a stickler for the drummers giving word and his commanders always knew who was coming and leaving. I remember Saresh getting whipped by Bo for leaving to go look for Eva, I remember the order that decreed by Fonce that Tanner was to be chained and tried if he returned after he left to find his sisters and mother. I also recall how angry Fonce was at me when I had gone to see my sister and brother, now I had his permission as I spoke to him and father both, Garyx also had permission we did this out of respect to him and to ensure he knew that tribe matters and clan matters were taken care of and arrangements made to who would cover things for us. However, he was angry at me because I forgot to let him know when I was leaving I think that is the angriest I had seen him, it was my mistake, one that was upon me to take care of, and I did, but not at the main fires to insult and dishonor not only him, but myself or my mate and family. Honor is everything to a tuchuk. So I am wondering why did Sakmeta and Polunu feel they were the exceptions to this.
I have to wonder what occurred in the city that would cause her to submit to Polunu, when she talked with Cana and I she spoke as a free woman infatuated with a warrior, and yet now it has been cast upon her this deception. In the end even other warriors could only look on in shock at the behavior, death was the only option left. I know that it was not the choice wanted, and I know that it hurt for it to have been made, father saw him as an adopted son. In the end it is tribe above all something seemingly forgotten, while he fought Kassar, the question is still in the air why did he leave tribe and clan, our warriors do not seek vision quests that is the way of the red savage, but those that seek guidance do so at the fires of the clan not off the plains and not in a city. The insult to both my father and Ba'atar was beyond what could be allowed, both Polunu and Sakmeta were killed.
I was worried of Cana her upset over it all was more than she should have had to watch, I tried to distract her and keep her from getting ill, I am not sure if I was of much help. But I did what I could. For a while after that things seemed to settle.
At least for a few ehn,
