In the ghostly tendrils of the night I find myself walking upon the plains, I can see the glow of the fires in the distance of the camp, it has been a very long time since I have found myself restless enough to simply walk with no destination and no purpose in mind. I hold the fur around me as it is cooler than it normally should be. Far colder than I would like. I wont stay out to long as I know Garyx will be returning from patrol, he was on a specific patrol my father set him upon, I did not ask as I know that when he can tell me he will. We have a unique understanding of each other, he was worth the wait that it took for him to come into my life.
Which is why I try to not work as I once used to, though admittedly I still do, but I do try for the most part, sometimes I admit I do not, there are times he has to come and find me, and well, that is not always a good thing, and the elders that are older than me, they find this most amusing, and somehow he has managed to have them think of him as some favored son, if that don't beat all.
I can feel my emotions in a turmoil and they beckon me to fall into them, it is an almost irresistible lure, but one that I fight within myself to not get entrapped in. Wisely, those of the clan do not push and do not ask, the elders are not happy of what they have seen, I am not happy of it either, we wait to see if it is followed and if it is not, the future of some depend upon their choices. I do know that if it not then there will be no respect rendered or acknowledgement, we will do as we do others that attempt the same game. There are reasons for every little and big thing we do, we have all worked to hard to establish various things, some at the request of another. Everything designed for a purpose, for lessons and for understanding of something that if left unchecked as it has been only allows for those that acted like sluts in an orgy, using our ways to tease men and do things that make all Spex look like we are nothing but slaves without a collar. It is not an image anyone wants tainting us because that is far from who we are or how we act. We have things in place that allow for the proper teaching that allows for another to grow, is it easy. No it isn't, it takes commitment and hard work, something that is sadly lacking of the younger ones.
I walk in the quiet of the night so that the influence of others do not touch me as I think upon things. It is the expectation that I will do or say something, truth is. I will not. It is the first time that I wash my hands of everything. When some things are ignored that have not been known to anyone outside of the inner circles of the clan, then it is time to just step back and let others make fools of themselves. I have seen those that are flamboyant and do things that we would not or could not do, simply because of lack of understanding. We are not airless wonders with our heads in the clouds, we do not walk around as if afraid to step on the grass or the rocks. Or each out to touch everything with this look of wonderment, I have seen this lately, and I truly just have to shake my head. If that is what is wanted, then that is what will be given, but not by me and not by the elders of the first wagons.
We have already retreated from the view of people and do our work quietly. Without fanfare, we are here, we just remain at the moment unseen, as we do what is needed for the tribe and various people, we also prepare for the last journey of one of the eldest of the eldest, he has been around since before my grandmothers mother, I enjoy sitting with him as he has taught me the old ways of our ways, he also tells me stories of my family, that father cannot. I will miss him as he has been an invaluable teacher and mentor. We know that we do not need to cause ripples in the water to create an ocean for our thoughts to be known. For me, I utilize the elements in everyday things, and for the moment it is the silence that is my guide and voice . For, we will not embrace these actions or this behavior, nor will we step in to change it or stop it, because given enough rope those that are fools do hang themselves.
